coffeesnobs.com.au - You know you're a coffee snob when....

robusto

OlSmokey

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You know you're a coffee snob when....
Oct 11^th, 2005, 10:11am

What qualities set the 400+ members of this fine organisation apart from the rabble?
A few off the top:

You know you're a coffee snob when:-

...your date invites you up for a coffee and you bring your own

...you're asked "how do you like your coffee?" -- and you reply ristretto macchiato

---your worst fear about Hurricane Katrina isn't the death toll, but how its affected the coffee harvest

---You spend more time researching coffee bean futures than those Telstra shares

Over to you...

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Dan RegularRoaster Offline Posts: 114 Bentleigh Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #1 - Oct 11^th, 2005, 12:08pm ... When your friends think your new girlfriends name is Silvia.
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Andy Freeman Admin Group Online andy@coffeesnobs Posts: 8978 Australia Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #2 - Oct 11^th, 2005, 2:49pm ...when you look at installing automatic doors on the front of your house because of the "high foot traffic" when all your friends and family discover you make the best coffee in town.
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Dan RegularRoaster Offline Posts: 114 Bentleigh Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #3 - Oct 11^th, 2005, 3:06pm ... When you are trying to roast enough beans for a week and the fire brigade turns up.
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Mr Macchiato Roastalot Offline In Thurst We Trust Posts: 493 Sydney Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #4 - Oct 11^th, 2005, 5:15pm You inform your wife that the three greatest joys in your life are her, the kids and your Silvia......... but you omit to mention in which order
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Paul Roastsabit Offline CoffeeSnob Posts: 69 Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #5 - Oct 11^th, 2005, 6:12pm When every small electronic appliance is viewed in relation to its ability to be modified to roast coffee
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Javaphile CS Moderator Online HHhmm....Java!! Posts: 6548 USA Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #6 - Oct 12^th, 2005, 9:01am ...when you won't drive for 3 hours for a visit with a friend because it costs too much, but you'll drive all the way accross the country to pick up a roaster. ...when you convert the bedroom into a climate controlled bean storage facility. Java "Now who would do a thing like that?!" phile
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robusto

OlSmokey

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #7 - Oct 12^th, 2005, 10:03am

--you judge the coffee quality of a new and untested cafe/bakery by the spelling
--you gingerly peer into same shop from the road trying to make out the brand of coffee machine
--you engage the barrista in small talk like "I see you have a 4-group E-61 set at 9 bar"
--you engage the barrista in small talk like that and--worse--he doesn't know what you're talking about
---you find yourself timing the shot in a cafe
--you ask the barrista to mark a line around the polystyrene cup where the espresso comes up to before the milk is added so you can take it home and measure the quantity
--your parents reach for the stove-top and you pass
--your colleagues approaching you are overheard muttering "Just don't mention coffee. He'll bore you witless if you do"
--your place is a mess except for the kitchen corner shrine where the Silvia is kept
--you spend $1000 on a built-in barbecue only to end up roasting coffee beans
exclusively

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refreshinglygood GreenBean Offline CoffeeSnob Posts: 12	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #8 - Jan 20^th, 2006, 8:37am you become a member of coffeesnob.com.au
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KoNG RegularRoaster Offline Coffee/Beer Brewer Posts: 164 @ the mo' - Perth Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #9 - Jan 20^th, 2006, 12:13pm Your personalised tamper which you bought yourself for christmas... is more romantic than the present you got the missus...
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Boris Roastalot Offline My dearest friend Posts: 302 Canberra Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #10 - Jan 20^th, 2006, 6:30pm When the wait staff ask if they can get you a coffee and add they have all sorts. Your reponse is, OK what blends are on offer and do you have any single origins, only to be met with a long slow blink. Boris
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goatherder GreenBean Offline Posts: 46 hunter valley	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #11 - Jan 21^st, 2006, 8:14am -- when you insensitively blurt out "but instant isn't coffee"
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Robster Roastalot Offline Coffeesknob: Seduced by the Dark Side... Posts: 338 Brisbane Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #12 - Jan 22^nd, 2006, 3:57pm . . . the basis for choosing your new wristwatch is whether or not there's a chronograph function so you can time shots!
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Lovingcoffee Newbie Offline CoffeeSnob Posts: 1	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #13 - Jul 12^th, 2006, 11:26am -your coffee machine is worth more than your car.
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luca

OlSmokey

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It's what's in the cup
that counts.
Posts: 1901
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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #14 - Jul 12^th, 2006, 9:21pm

Time to bring out some oldies:

-You wake up, bleary-eyed from last night's debauchery and fix yourself a bowl of cornflakes. When the haze clears and you look down, the cornflakes are parted into a rosetta from pouring the milk.

-When you arrive at your favourite cafe the barista takes a seat while you fix him an espresso.

... and one that I thought had the winning combination of funny and crude:

-You wait 6-8 seconds before you begin to pee.

Cheers,

Luca

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scoota gal CS Moderator Offline Not A Cafe Racer... Posts: 2852 Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #15 - Jul 13^th, 2006, 8:18pm ...when you go away on holidays, you pack not only your clothes but your Silvia, Rocky and your favourite cups as well as anything else necessary to continue making the good brew... (yes, I've just done this! )
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2mcm

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #16 - Jul 13^th, 2006, 8:23pm

scoota gal wrote on Jul 13^th, 2006, 8:18pm:

...when you go away on holidays, you pack not only your clothes but your Silvia, Rocky and your favourite cups as well as anything else necessary to continue making the good brew...

(yes, I've just done this! Wink

)

What???!! Doesn't everyone have a Sylvia and Rocky as a car boot weekend coffee solution? Cool

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luca OlSmokey Offline It's what's in the cup that counts. Posts: 1901 Melbourne Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #17 - Jul 13^th, 2006, 9:13pm 2mcm wrote on Jul 13^th, 2006, 8:23pm: What???!! Doesn't everyone have a Sylvia and Rocky as a car boot weekend coffee solution? Nah. When I want a break, I get out the old-school la peppina
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Robster Roastalot Offline Coffeesknob: Seduced by the Dark Side... Posts: 338 Brisbane Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #18 - Jul 13^th, 2006, 9:44pm Ah, 'tis a beautiful thing. And PID'd too! Rob
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scoota gal

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #19 - Jul 22^nd, 2006, 10:42am

Another one for you...

You know you're a coffee snob when...

You walk into the roasters to pick up some beans and he points at the coffee machine and says "Quick! Get behind the machine and watch the barista at work!" Cheesy

or

You know you're a coffee snob when...

You avoid certain franchised coffee places like the plague.

and

You know you're a coffee snob when...

Your host is embarrased to offer you instant coffee and you are embarrassed that you are snob enough that you won't drink it.

(Yep. These are recent experiences! Cheesy

)

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Javaphile

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #20 - Jul 22^nd, 2006, 1:10pm

scoota gal wrote on Jul 22^nd, 2006, 10:42am:

Your host is embarrased to offer you instant coffee and you are embarrassed that you are snob enough that you won't drink it.

Or alternatively they don't even bother to offer the instant because they know what the response will be. Shocked

Java "That's my story and I'm sticking to it!" phile

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Toys! I *must* have new toys!

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rayzurhed Roastalot Offline Posts: 310 Burnie Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #21 - Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:04pm You know you're a coffee snob when your wife no longer raises an eyebrow when you discuss the virtues of Silvia RH
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Javaphile

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HHhmm....Java!!
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USA
Gender: male

Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #22 - Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:10pm

rayzurhed wrote on Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:04pm:

You know you're a coffee snob when your wife no longer raises an eyebrow when you discuss the virtues of Silvia Grin

RH

Or alternatively: You know you're a snob when your wife accepts that you're in a life-long relationship with Silvia and she'll just have to live with it! Grin

Java "Coffee is a demanding Mistress" phile

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Thundergod Sleep is overrated. Offline Order is for idiots; genius can handle chaos. Posts: 9211 Sydney Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #23 - Aug 4^th, 2006, 3:33pm ......you laugh at all the above one liners.
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Viviane OlSmokey Offline CoffeeSnob Posts: 803 Southern Highlands Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #24 - Aug 5^th, 2006, 10:19am Or you don't see anything funny in these one liners...
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rowdee Roastalot Offline CoffeeSnob Posts: 396 Frankston	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #25 - Aug 5^th, 2006, 12:29pm you start talking, again, about the wonders of roasting your own beans and your partner's eyes glaze over and you can see that they are bored sh**less.
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wattgn OlSmokey Offline Bezzera BZ-40P/Rocky Doserless/Hottop Posts: 586 Perth Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #26 - Aug 5^th, 2006, 1:14pm when you spend every evening for three weeks fixing your newly acquired second hand machine then drill a hole in the kitchen bench for it and fit a twin cartridge filtration system to protect your baby...
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Baristacrat RegularRoaster Offline Not Barista - Baroaster! Posts: 106 Hobart Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #27 - Aug 14^th, 2006, 10:20pm You rationally and logically present your partner with an argument to justify spending $14k on a Synesso for home use, on the grounds that you wont have to upgrade again.....soon.
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askthecoffeeguy OlSmokey Offline W: BFC Synchro, Mazzer Robur, Compak K10, F5 Posts: 571 melbourne Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #28 - Dec 6^th, 2006, 8:58pm When your wife says to you: "One of us has got to go... it's me or the coffee machine!"
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luca OlSmokey Offline It's what's in the cup that counts. Posts: 1901 Melbourne Gender:	Re: You know you're a coffee snob when.... Reply #29 - Dec 6^th, 2006, 9:11pm Your fists tighten every time someone says La Marzocca instead of La Marzocco ;P You open your desk drawer to get a pen to write yourself a note to order new shower screens. There's no pen in sight, but you have a ten-pack of shower screens that you forgot about. Cheers, Luca
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askthecoffeeguy

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #30 - Dec 7^th, 2006, 10:24am

You are far from home (and your own espresso machine) and you go to five different cafes in a row, and order the same coffee each time, until you can find one that makes it right!

You go for a ten day tramp (bush walk) in New Zealand, and you take your cute little stove top espresso maker with you - you turn the knob one way, and out comes steam to foam your milk - then you refill with coffee, and turn the knob the other way, and presto! Instant espresso! (is there such a thing?)

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"The crema which dissipates is not the lasting crema" - from an ancient coffee text

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Robster

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Re: You know you're a coffee snob when....
Reply #31 - Dec 7^th, 2006, 2:07pm

askthecoffeeguy wrote on Dec 7^th, 2006, 10:24am:

You go for a ten day tramp (bush walk) in New Zealand, and you take your cute little stove top espresso maker with you - you turn the knob one way, and out comes steam to foam your milk - then you refill with coffee, and turn the knob the other way, and presto! Instant espresso! (is there such a thing?)

Indeed, there are such things:

Or you can do it in style and go for an Atomic ($300 - $800)

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