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You know youre a coffee snob when....

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  • You know youre a coffee snob when....

    What qualities set the 400+ members of this fine organisation apart from the rabble?
    A few off the top:

    You know youre a coffee snob when:-

    ...your date invites you up for a coffee and you bring your own

    ...youre asked "how do you like your coffee?" -- and you reply ristretto macchiato

    ---your worst fear about Hurricane Katrina isnt the death toll, but how its affected the coffee harvest

    ---You spend more time researching coffee bean futures than those Telstra shares

    Over to you...


  • #2
    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

    ... When your friends think your new girlfriends name is Silvia.

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    • #3
      Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

      ...when you look at installing automatic doors on the front of your house because of the "high foot traffic" when all your friends and family discover you make the best coffee in town.


      Comment


      • #4
        Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

        ... When you are trying to roast enough beans for a week and the fire brigade turns up.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

          You inform your wife that the three greatest joys in your life are her, the kids and your Silvia......... but you omit to mention in which order ;D

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          • #6
            Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

            When every small electronic appliance is viewed in relation to its ability to be modified to roast coffee

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            • #7
              Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

              ...when you wont drive for 3 hours for a visit with a friend because it costs too much, but youll drive all the way accross the country to pick up a roaster.

              ...when you convert the bedroom into a climate controlled bean storage facility.

              Java "Now who would do a thing like that?!" phile
              Toys! I must have new toys!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                --you judge the coffee quality of a new and untested cafe/bakery by the spelling
                --you gingerly peer into same shop from the road trying to make out the brand of coffee machine
                --you engage the barrista in small talk like "I see you have a 4-group E-61 set at 9 bar"
                --you engage the barrista in small talk like that and--worse--he doesnt know what youre talking about
                ---you find yourself timing the shot in a cafe
                --you ask the barrista to mark a line around the polystyrene cup where the espresso comes up to before the milk is added so you can take it home and measure the quantity
                --your parents reach for the stove-top and you pass
                --your colleagues approaching you are overheard muttering "Just dont mention coffee. Hell bore you witless if you do"
                --your place is a mess except for the kitchen corner shrine where the Silvia is kept
                --you spend $1000 on a built-in barbecue only to end up roasting coffee beans
                exclusively

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                  you become a member of coffeesnob.com.au

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                    Your personalised tamper which you bought yourself for christmas...
                    is more romantic than the present you got the missus...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                      When the wait staff ask if they can get you a coffee and add they have all sorts. Your reponse is, OK what blends are on offer and do you have any single origins, only to be met with a long slow blink. >

                      Boris

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                      • #12
                        Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                        -- when you insensitively blurt out "but instant isnt coffee"

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                        • #13
                          Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                          . . . the basis for choosing your new wristwatch is whether or not theres a chronograph function so you can time shots!

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                          • #14
                            Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                            -your coffee machine is worth more than your car.

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                            • #15
                              Re: You know youre a coffee snob when....

                              Time to bring out some oldies:

                              -You wake up, bleary-eyed from last nights debauchery and fix yourself a bowl of cornflakes. When the haze clears and you look down, the cornflakes are parted into a rosetta from pouring the milk.

                              -When you arrive at your favourite cafe the barista takes a seat while you fix him an espresso.

                              ... and one that I thought had the winning combination of funny and crude:

                              -You wait 6-8 seconds before you begin to pee.

                              Cheers,

                              Luca

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