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  • Coffee Dreamers

    I have a problem. Im willing to own it. Willing to commit to therapy and deal with my problem.
    I am a self-confessed coffee stalker.
    I have been found lurking around Harvey Norman (sorry, Hardly Normal) stores, stalking espresso machines. I dont buy. I just look. Weird, huh? I spend more time dreaming about what i havent got than appreciating what i have ***mmm, pause for moment of self-insight***(which is a Gaggia Evolution).
    Am I alone? Or are there other coffee freaks (emphasis on freaks) out there, trying to overcome (or just give in to) their obsessions?
    Why not use this thread to fess up your coffee day-dreams? -- perhaps your Dream Machine if you could afford it; or perhaps you were a stalker once too?


    Ive pasted below my coffee day-dream when I was almost caught stalking a Sunbeam:

    "Well, the story began one ordinary afternoon last July. How extraordinary it was to become I had no idea at that time. The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew here was trouble... the kind of trouble Id been waiting my whole life for.
    She had that look: sleek, stylish, professional. I just knew she would wrap me around her long, slender arm and then we would really steam things up! I started to drift off into a mezmerized trance-like state and dream coffee dreams! I saw myself as a professional barista, knocking out cup after cup of rich tiger-striped crema. At the same time, swinging that elegent, slender steam wand into action! Silky smooth micro-foam and then a quick wipe with the cloth.
    Coming out of my trance, I realised I was standing in a Hardly Normal store. In front of me the EM69-thingy towered over me imposingly. Her sleek, professional lines making the machines around it look like childrens toys with their short, plastic steam wands and non-commercial porta-filters!
    Although hypnotised by her beauty, a niggling voice in the back of my head was whispering something that at first I tried to ignore, but, eventually, I could not: It was a Sunbeam.
    I already owned a Gaggia. What was I doing?!!? A wave of adulterous guilt swept over me! Gaggia need never know. I could have my Sunbeam on the side. I picked up the group handle and felt its substantial weight. I passed my fingers caressingly over its solid metal lugs. I fitted it into the solid-looking group head and twisted: it fit snugly and I knew at that moment that one day -- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but sooner or later -- I would be unfaithful and wake up to a Sunbeam.

    To this day I have not transgressed, but, as I clean the old milk from my Gaggia plastic (heaven forbid, Im gonna say it...) froth enhancer ***gasp!***, I find myself having impure thoughts involving a long-metal steam wand, a ball-and-socket joint and lots and lots of micro-foam!! "

    Dream on my friends!

  • #2
    Re: Coffee Dreamers

    Step away from the shiny machines and hope to goodness your poor old Gaggia cant read your thoughts! Or just give in to temptation. You know you want to.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Coffee Dreamers

      Great post Mean Bean.

      Im sure many members have done the same and continue to do so both in real-live stores and via electronic coffee-porn web sites (which are thinly disguised as manufacturer specification web pages).

      It seems a CSr never owns a machine, they are just stepping stones on the journey to coffee nirvana.

      Let me know when you get there!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Coffee Dreamers

        Heres proof.

        I was in Goodguys yesterday picking up a printer. After that was all done and stowed in my car I decided to wonder back in and have a look at the machines on display I had a good sticky-beak and a good chuckle at all the crappy autos. Also checked out the 6910 which is what I really wanted to have a look at. Looks good and was surprisingly BIG, much bigger than I had imagined for some reason. Maybe I was used to all the smaller Breville and Sunbeam single thermoblocks.

        Matt

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Coffee Dreamers

          Originally posted by mean bean link=1167796560/0#0 date=1167796560
          I am a self-confessed coffee stalker.
          I have been found lurking around Harvey Norman (sorry, Hardly Normal) stores, stalking espresso machines. I dont buy. I just look. Weird, huh?
          I secretly film them . . .

          - Rob

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Coffee Dreamers

            Thank the stars, Im normal after all.....

            Cant help that little gloat knowing that Silvia isnt for sale there.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Coffee Porn

              I knew i wasnt the only one!
              Thankyou Andy for not being afraid to call a spade a spade, or as the kids are saying these days, to call a Voldemort a Voldemort. Ahhh, the evolution of our language! -- there should be a law against it!

              What was i saying? Ah yes, thanks for calling it what it is: coffee porn! Those manufacturers websites are so hot! And you dont need a credit card if you know what youre doin.

              Congratulations to Matt and Rob for outing themselves. Everyone else feel free to point and laugh (a la Viviane).

              Now, dear reader, that you know you will be thoroughly made fun of, why dont you out yourself as well. Go on, take the plunger. Its not just coffee stalkers that well be ceremoniously stoning to death here -- we welcome all kinds of weird coffe-related obsessions (as long as no animals are injured).

              So, come on, fess up! Whats your guilty pleasure or crazy obsession?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Coffee Porn

                Somewhere around here theres a link to a high res video of a naked portafilter shot. Pure Coffee Porn!!! ;D ;D ;D


                Java "Now thats sexy!" phile
                Toys! I must have new toys!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Coffee Porn

                  Originally posted by mean bean link=1167796560/0#6 date=1167872760
                  What was i saying? Ah yes, thanks for calling it what it is: coffee porn! Those manufacturers websites are so hot! And you dont need a credit card if you know what youre doin.
                  What about this for Silvia Mills & Boon style erotica from the Rancilio website:

                  "My wife and I were dining at a friends house when first I saw her. She was lovely then. Destiny, it seems, demanded that I meet her once more ? she was even better. Beautiful. A generous, strong-willed beauty. What was changed in her? How I could resist her? I knew that she must absolutely be mine. That is why, from that moment on, I no longer left matters to fate: the flavor that she left on my lips each time we came together, became my sweet and bitter obsession. My Silvia... a new Silvia: even more sensual, with a professional and self-confident air that lends passion and vigor to her breathtaking form. No, not the usual toy... but an icon without compare. This is why I decided to take her home. At first, my wife was surprised. But today, she, too cannot live without our Silvia. Because Silvia never disappoints. She always satisfies, producing aroma and flavor that please the palate. Thanks to her re-design, she is even more aesthetically appealing, as well, and easier than ever to work with. Such an intense and fragrant espresso only Silvia can create... like being in a café, at home."

                  :-[

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Coffee Dreamers

                    I used to carry a picture of my Expobar in my wallet (now its the backgropund on my phone) and tell everyone I had a new HOT, Spanish girlfriend. ;D

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Coffee Porn

                      Originally posted by mean bean link=1167796560/0#6 date=1167872760
                      I knew i wasnt the only one!

                      Congratulations to Matt and Rob for outing themselves. Everyone else feel free to point and laugh (a la Viviane).
                      mean bean, you misunderstood me - I was confessing, not laughing. Im sure that my local Hardly Normal staff (in a small town) believe that Im trying to figure out how to steal one of their "amazing" espresso machines. They no longer ask if i want help, just watch me carefully from a distance.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Coffee Porn

                        mean bean, you misunderstood me - I was confessing, not laughing. Im sure that my local Hardly Normal staff (in a small town) believe that Im trying to figure out how to steal one of their "amazing" espresso machines. They no longer ask if i want help, just watch me carefully from a distance.
                        Ahhh, now thats my kind of normal! My apologies Viviane, and welcome to the other side of our public stoning! Congratulations on making the HN Security Depts "Most Wanted" list.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Coffee Dreamers

                          I think its officially called "espresso envy"

                          P

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Coffee Dreamers

                            you see I dont even OWN an espresso machine and thanks to you guys even I go into "bulky goods stores" and laugh at the crappy itty bitty espresso machines.

                            From the sounds of it....Im thinking its a slippery slope....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Coffee Dreams Come True!

                              It was a Sunbeam.  
                              I already owned a Gaggia. What was I doing?!!? A wave of adulterous guilt swept over me! Gaggia need never know. I could have my Sunbeam on the side. I picked up the group handle and felt its substantial weight. I passed my fingers caressingly over its solid metal lugs. I fitted it into the solid-looking group head and twisted: it fit snugly and I knew at that moment that one day -- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but sooner or later -- I would be unfaithful and wake up to a Sunbeam.
                              Well, Ive done it. Ive given in to tempation.  :-[  Ive got meself a Sunbeam EM6910 !!  ;D

                              Thanks, Wushoes!
                              It arrived this morning and Ive been as excited as a kid on Christmas morning!

                              Here it is in its new home...

                              [img]
                              http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1221/586381614_30042e41b9_o.jpg[/img]

                              My grinder, too, is very happy with the new member of the family.

                              Comment

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