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Warning signs for a bad cafe

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  • #31
    Just call me 3 flat whites

    Today I went to order 3 coffees from a regular haunt and discovered two new faces driving the coffee machine instead of the usual familiar face that we have grown to rely on, for a half decent coffee in this particular mall.  

    After watching one of the young girls make a coffee for the person in front of me, a sense of urgency came over me,..to increase the distance between myself and the coffee maker.  

    The two milk jugs were nothing short of revolting, the caked on gunge in and around the jugs,.and on the thermometers was tempting,..but nah I just wasnt up for a dose of micro-organisms with my coffee today thanks. And.. mmm mmm.. scoop some unknown ground from a dirty tin into a filllllllllllllthy portafilter (makes vomit noises),. finger the grounds on top of the portafilter,.. dont tamp at all   and pour the shot. Yummmmy : No thanks. "yooohooo girrrrrls???,..Have ya done this before???"

    Off around the corner I ran,..to what I thought at the time was the only other coffee shop in the immediate area (did a recky after and found two more for next time). It was a GJs cafe. I ordered 3 flat whites to take away (lonnnnnnnng walk back to tables we were sitting at) and as I handed the money over for them,. I heard an ear piercing shrill from the young girl(read rabid banchee woman) who was making the coffees as she shouted on the top of her lungs in her delightful  :-?  high pitched voice  > to the tables outside of the cafe and into the mall..." Order for Suzaaaaaaaaaaaane!!!!"   It gave me such a fright because I was right next to her and my right ear copped the full volume of it and it was ringing,.. in my annoyance before I could stop myself,..I said in a loud angry voice,.OH... MY... GOD...!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!! What kind of service is that??"  The girl I handed my money over to said,."Oh we have to yell really loud for them to hear out there sometimes"  Um helloooo? Have you heard of table service or buzzers???,..do ya think this might annoy your customers sitting inside??  I looked around the cafe at the customers sitting at tables inside (some were reading and got a fright too),..there were heads shaking and looks of astonishment all round.

    Sooh,.. then the girl taking my order asked me for my name and after what Id just heard,..I imagined hearing my name screamed into the mall by a rabid banchee woman and said,.."um,... I dont think so,...... three flat whites"

    While waiting close by,.. in the hope of gesturing to the banchee that I am three flat whites to save her voice and our ears of further damage,.. I watched the coffee making process and ack.... please change your cloth more often,.. putting that filthy black(from coffee) cloth into the portafilter where my coffee is about to be poured through is a huuuge turn-off.  The coffee tasted ok,.. but I couldnt get that dirty cloth out of my mind. *note to self,.. never go there again*

    I dont know what I prefer,.. the first cafe just banged the portafilter (no wipe out) and into the wet and dirty portafilter the next lot of grounds were dumped,.... or a wipe ( 1 sec sweep rather) with a dirty black cloth.

    Oh my!!.... I am such a snob.. I must be... I cannot help noticing all this stuff now,.. being a coffee snob is tough,.. I am enjoying coffee out less and less.

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    • #32
      Re: Warning signs for a bad cafe

      You are not on your own there, I tend to drink oj and black tea when out unless I know the outlet produces good java. Most cafes are food outlets with coffee as an afterthought served by part-time high school kids with little or no training, it is such a relief to get home to Silvia and her wonderful nectar!!!

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      • #33
        Re: Warning signs for a bad cafe

        Originally posted by greenman link=1201913196/30#31 date=1202630039
        You are not on your own there, I tend to drink oj and black tea when out unless I know the outlet produces good java. Most cafes are food outlets with coffee as an afterthought served by part-time high school kids with little or no training.
        Aar so true.. I never thought of it like that. Hmmm...I might have to adopt your way of ordering too me thinks...thanks for the insight on both accounts.

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        • #34
          Re: Warning signs for a bad cafe

          Originally posted by Remy link=1201913196/30#32 date=1202640328
          Originally posted by greenman link=1201913196/30#31 date=1202630039
          You are not on your own there, I tend to drink oj and black tea when out unless I know the outlet produces good java. Most cafes are food outlets with coffee as an afterthought served by part-time high school kids with little or no training.
          Aar so true.. I never thought of it like that.  Hmmm...I might have to adopt your way of ordering too me thinks...thanks for the insight on both accounts.
          Hi
          Why say most cafes when only some is true.
          ALL cafes i go to serve good coffee, ( sorry GREAT coffee )
          If you want good coffee be prepared to look for it and pay for it, dont expect it to just be there. i wish every cafe  made great coffee but they dont, which makes it better when you find the perfect cup. we could all make everything better at home, but then we would never go out.


          PS id be willing to travel 2 hours for a good coffee.

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          • #35
            Re: Warning signs for a bad cafe

            "Most" is more correct than "some".

            All cafes I regularly go to serve great coffee too.
            I dont frequent cafes that dont.

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            • #36
              Re: Warning signs for a bad cafe

              most recent never again experience (and this IS quite snobbish):
              local to my work, i had seen a beautiful deep red LM FB80 (im pretty sure, but def a LM). me heart pounded harder and my mind became singally focussed on what i thought was to be great espresso close to work....but as the story goes...

              me: could i have a doppio ristretto, please
              girl at counter: (puzzled, asks next counter guy)
              counter guy also puzzled whispers to barista who then turns to me:
              "sorry what were you after?"
              me: ibid"
              barista guy starts calculating in front of me: "ok, doppio, double..thats 15mls, double, so 30ml...so two shots, right?
              me (increasingly concerned) um, just a double ristretto
              counter guy then asks mr barista how to charge me, and barista guy keeps counting to himself and starts filling pf
              charge him for two drinks
              i start to make noises about not wanting to pay for two drinks when im only ordering one, but get cut off and informed of the charge.
              $4.50 later (HOLY CRAP), i sip a fairly average ristretto while mr barista and counter guy smirk and whisper cant believe he paid $4.50 for THAT (ok, i didnt actually hear that, but I just knew...)

              so, one MORE cafe crossed off the ever-growing list of never again cafes.
              lessons learnt (again, the hard way): FB80 does not necessarily mean good coffee...

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