Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
Brillant...especially the last bit about the Japanese banks...;D
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Nightmare on Wall Street
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Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
...and to help you try to make sense of it:
DEFINITION OF FINANCIAL TERMS
With the global financial crisis continuing we are always hearing terms on the news that were once only heard in stock market reports. Here is a glossary for those unfamiliar with these terms:
BULL MARKET—A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET—A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING—The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO—The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER—What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR—Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST—Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT—When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER—A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION—The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO—What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS—What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR—Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT—An archaic word no longer in use.
What’s the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.
What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari.
What can you buy on eBay for $1.
An Icelandic bank but they’ll get you on the shipping costs.
What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
And then there is this one about the Japanese banks from the website edu geek:
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK , uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
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Quote of the Week
Seen this one twice via friendly spam . If you havent seen it already, here it is:
Quote of the Week
I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.
Thomas Jefferson 1802
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Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
"neigh"Originally posted by flynnaus link=1222994813/0#5 date=1223073971... I think theyre more likely to be horseburgers ...
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Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
I think theyre more likely to be horseburgers (Royal Guardsmen brand) - I dont think HM could part with the pooches yet. In fact I think Chilla or Phil would be more likely to appear on the Maccas menu than Royal corgi.
Theres plenty of money around - just costs a bit more to own is all.
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Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
Well theres a bit of crema in that smiley long black at least TK... - so alls not lost.
Im a tad more worried about Lizs skinny & young lookin arms, incongruous to her wrinkled face, in Flynns pic ... where did Dr. Make-over go wrong?
And is that a Corgi-Quarter-Pounder in the background? :-?
Geez ... times are bad.
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If Wall Street goes down - the quality goes down
Is this a sign of the things to come....... no money, lower standards, poor quality,
What kind of a world do we live in if our quality of the coffee we buy becomes a nightmare as well?
Or should we just settle for less?
TK

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Re: Nightmare on Wall Street
I guess you can only pay debt with credit cards for so long!
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Nightmare on Wall Street
It seems the crisis in the US economy has had a worse than predicted effect in Britain

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