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Dad Jokes - A tribute to Dads on Fathers day

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  • Dad Jokes - A tribute to Dads on Fathers day

    (Please keep them clean and Dad silly)


    What do you call a 3 legged cow?
    Lean beef.

    What do you call a no legged cow?
    Ground beef.


    ...my kids rolled their eyes but they wanted to at least chuckle.

  • #2
    Why did the coffee file a police report?

    Because it was mugged.



    People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning

    No, I say. I just bring her some coffee.



    This morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.

    After 15 minutes of driving on the highway, I realized I left my car at home.



    Badoom tish.

    Thank you thank you. You’ve been a wonderful audience.

    Comment


    • #3
      Driving past a cemetery...
      We are coming up to the dead centre of town

      Think I've overdone that one. Now as we approach a cemetery my son looks sideways at me which I still count as a win as he can hear the Dad joke without me actually saying it.

      Comment


      • #4
        I had a happy childhood, my dad used to put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill...

        They were Goodyears.

        Comment


        • #5
          Son: Hey, Ma, Father's coming over the hill.
          Ma: Shut up junior, and keep loading.

          ----------------
          Son: Ma, I hate my father's guts.
          Ma: Shut up junior and eat what's on your plate.

          Boom! Boom!

          --------------------------

          Father: When I was your age, I walked to school...four miles uphill in the morning....and four miles back home uphill at night.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Andy View Post
            Driving past a cemetery...
            We are coming up to the dead centre of town

            Think I've overdone that one. Now as we approach a cemetery my son looks sideways at me which I still count as a win as he can hear the Dad joke without me actually saying it.
            People are just dying to get in there.

            Haven't needed to say it for decades to get 'The Look'.


            Java "Chorus from the peanut gallery Groan" phile
            Toys! I must have new toys!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by robusto View Post
              Son: Hey, Ma, Father's coming over the hill.
              Ma: Shut up junior, and keep loading.

              ----------------
              Son: Ma, I hate my father's guts.
              Ma: Shut up junior and eat what's on your plate.
              Hey ma, dad's going out
              Shut up son and throw on more petrol.

              Comment


              • #8

                How do you make a dog go meow?
                toss him out of a plane and watch him go meeee owwww all the way to the ground.

                How do you make a cat go woof?
                Petrol and a match.

                (told to me by my father, so second generation dad jokes now)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Andy View Post
                  (told to me by my father, so second generation dad jokes now)
                  It's a requirement for Dad jokes that they would have probably been told by Noah

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Hoggy42 View Post
                    I had a happy childhood, my dad used to put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill...

                    They were Goodyears.
                    Goodyear must have changed their name. I heard they're McIntyres now.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      And known the Dead Sea when it was only sick.
                      And been in the RAF when Pontius was a pilot.
                      (amen).

                      Comment

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