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Red Dwarf Paradox

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  • Red Dwarf Paradox

    Now that a new feature length episode of Red Dwarf is being made, I thought I'd get this off my chest.

    Red Dwarf never ceases to be funny -- like Seinfeld reruns.
    Yes, it is first and foremost a comedy...to make us laugh.
    But I keep wondering about certain puzzling issues nonetheless.
    Black holes in the plot you can drive the starship Enterprise through.

    The Cat evolved over 3 million years from his ancestral pregnant cat. Were there no other cats in this evolution?
    Even though he evolved, how did he learn to speak English stuck in the confines of the spaceship hold?

    After 3 million years in space, the crew is still eating fresh fruit, chicken and beer.
    That's one hell of a use-by date.

    Rimmer is a craven coward -- but being a hologram theoretically he cannot be harmed. Yet he flinches at the threat of danger and runs.

    Anything else?

  • #2
    Bwahahahahaha

    Was just talking to someone about Red Dwarf on the weekend and the need to organise a marathon.

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    • #3
      Few years ago i nearly got a good deal on one of smart cars to make a starbug

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      • #4
        Originally posted by robusto View Post
        Anything else?
        In the episode where everything is in reverse, Lister asks the barman for two pints of 'errskib', however in reverse it would sound more like 'errtib'.

        That's been on my chest for over two decades. Wow, what a relief!

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        • #5
          RIMMER rushes in and interrupts.

          RIMMER:
          Kryten, my own mind's come back - you've got to help me.

          KRYTEN:
          Well, what happened exactly? Was it a slow deterioration in your own intelligence or did it happen in seconds?

          RIMMER:
          Seconds. I'm in the middle of the assessment. You've got to give me another mind patch pronto.

          KRYTEN:
          Oh, I'm sorry sir, it's classic rejection syndrome. Once the minds are unmeshed there is nothing we can do.

          RIMMER:
          What are you talking about?

          KRYTEN:
          Well you just don't have the sort of brain that can accept an implant, sir.

          RIMMER:
          (Distraught) No!

          KRYTEN:
          I'm sorry sir.

          RIMMER:
          There must be something you can do!

          KRYTEN:
          I'm afraid not.

          RIMMER:
          But I'm winning, I'm so close! (Noticing Sam Murray) Who's this? I'm not even gone and you're choosing my replacement!

          LISTER:
          We thought you weren't coming back.

          RIMMER:
          Well, you should have known better, shouldn't you? You actually expect something to go right for me? Arnold schmucko Rimmer? Toss-pot by royal appointment? (Starts to walk away.)

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          • #6
            Earlier...


            LISTER:
            Erm, well you sound exactly like what we're looking for. Are there any questions that you'd like to ask us?

            HARRISON:
            I just want to get one thing clear in my mind. This is an opportunity to be revived as a hologram and become a part of the crew, and the crew is you three.

            The three in question smile encouragingly.

            HARRISON:
            Basically you spend your time salvaging derelict spaceships, playing poker, and eating curries.

            LISTER:
            Well we don't do that much salvaging.

            HARRISON:
            But you do sound like you eat a lot of curries.

            KRYTEN:
            Well, we don't eat curry every night if that's what you think. In fact I remember quite clearly last June: Mr. Lister had a pizza. You remember? (LISTER nods in agreement.)

            LISTER:
            Yeah.

            KRYTEN:
            And you didn't like it. But then I poured curry sauce all over it and he just yummed it up!

            HARRISON:
            And the all-night poker sessions - is it always strip poker?

            LISTER:
            It depends on how drunk we are.

            CAT:
            Or how much curry he's had.

            HARRISON:
            So, and this probably sounds like a stupid question, you don't really have much interest in horse riding or ballet.

            LISTER:
            F-fine by us - as long as we can have a curry afterwards, we're cool. But of course, there's one or two other people that we have to see, but in theory if we offered you the post of replacement hologram would you accept?

            HARRISON:
            No.

            LISTER:
            No.

            HARRISON:
            No, I think, erm, I'm better off where I am.

            CAT:
            But you're dead!

            HARRISON:
            And meeting you guys has really made me appreciate it a whole lot more.

            [emoji1787]

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            • #7
              Haha. Better dead than red (dwarf), eh.

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