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Thread: You know youre a coffee snob when...

  1. #1
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    You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    Its confession time.

    Ive always claimed not to be a coffee snob. Id convinced myself that although Ive spent a lot of time and $$ on fresh coffee, Im not a snob because I still drink tea and instant coffee.

    Last night I door-knocked the neighbours with bespoke roasted coffee parcelled up and ready to give. After two rejections and learning these heathens (actually good neighbours) dont even have machines I went home with the realisation my real cohorts are the ones also tapping away at a green screen with white text.

    So Merry Chritmas fellow snobs.

    Does anyone else have a "You know youre a coffee snob when..." story?

  2. #2
    Senior Member saoye's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when you start taking photos and videos of espresso shots and latte arts. ;)

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when you just have to do one more roast (just in case).

  4. #4
    Senior Member fatboy_1999's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a Coffeesnob when...

    youve seen at least 3 of these threads before in the time youve been a member.
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1128985912
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1255469165
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1212497720

    :)
    Brett.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when you post a reply to thread to see if another coffee snob can post a reply pointing to an earlier identical thread before a moderator moves it to that same earlier identical thread.





    I wish..........

    Good pickup fatboy.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 242336202D3B1D737B7B7B420 link=1324695271/3#3 date=1324701096
    You know youre a Coffeesnob when...

    youve seen at least 3 of these threads before in the time youve been a member.
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1128985912
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1255469165
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1212497720

    :)
    Brett.
    If the internet has convinced me of one thing - theres little that hasnt been said before.

    Strangely though, typing the exact phrase in Google theres "No results found for "If the internet has convinced me of one thing - there is little that hasnt been said before.".

  7. #7
    Senior Member saoye's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    didnt see any mentioning about videoing espresso shots...there was one on photos of latte art :) but not many things in life are very original nowadays.

  8. #8
    Senior Member coffeechris's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When you talk about roasting beans at home with the guys at work and they give you looks that pretty much says " i dont understand your enthusiasm about coffee".....

    ;D

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    - I listen to a cafe before ordering coffee - if I dont hear the grinder before I hear the doser thwunk, I dont want a coffee
    - I grit my teeth and smile when someone says "this coffee is nice" and it isnt
    - I refuse coffee from friends with "no thanks, I just had one at home" even if I havent because I probably will when I get home!
    - Im taking 20kg+ of equipment to Christmas lunch tomorrow to make coffee for everyone...

    guilty to most of the ones already posted too... damn!

    edit:

    - you can name the machines & grinder make and models in pics posted by the sponsors (or anyone), and you notice which sponsor has the picture backwards ;)
    - you get your gear posted to home and work so no single person knows just how much coffee gear and beans you buy
    - youre on coffeesnobs at 11pm on Christmas eve...

  10. #10
    Senior Member greenman's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 5C545C5B5157350 link=1324695271/8#8 date=1324731614
    - youre on coffeesnobs at 11pm on Christmas eve...
    Back to top
    when you are on CS at 5.43am Christmas Day while sipping on a Yirg Special Prep V60 pourover :D :D :D :D :D :D
    Merry Christmas Snobbers everywhere ;) :) :)

  11. #11
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    ....when a necessary part of the Christmas ritual includes a special coffee for the day. I settled for a KJM blend variant. I was originally going to give this to a colleague but it smelled and looked so good, too bad, I claimed it for myself. ;)

    Have a great day all.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    .....on Christmas Day you wonder around town to see if any coffee shops are open!

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when

    Well lets face it, you just know dont you!

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when your 17 and have coffee withdrawal headaches if you dont have one in the morning. ;D

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    .... you visit this site at any opportunity you can just to browse.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when your GP suggests you lower your caffeine intake and you ask if switching from normale to ristretto counts.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when you dont usually steam milk but you can calm an angry, stressed spouse with a cappucino made using microfoaming techniques learnt on CS forums.

    Seasons greetings and a big thank-you to my fellow Coffee Snobs from me and Mrs dabbler.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Your colleagues insist you vet any proposed cafe-trip so that they wont have to listen to you complain about bad coffee.

  19. #19
    Roz
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When you start looking after your machine better than than your wife or partner :o

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    you pack six kg of coffee youve roasted yourself, a commercial coffee machine, and a mazzer SJ - as well a generator to power the lot - to take with you camping!

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 67756D726E6365696060636361737F060 link=1324695271/19#19 date=1324961259
    you pack six kg of coffee youve roasted yourself, a commercial coffee machine, and a mazzer SJ - as well a generator to power the lot - to take with you camping!

    Nice ATG
    Enjoy the trip

  22. #22
    Senior Member greenman's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 7B69716E727F79757C7C7F7F7D6F631A0 link=1324695271/19#19 date=1324961259
    you pack six kg of coffee youve roasted yourself, a commercial coffee machine, and a mazzer SJ - as well a generator to power the lot - to take with you camping!
    Wow!! A clear winner in my books...................... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

  23. #23
    Senior Member saoye's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 75677F607C71777B7272717173616D140 link=1324695271/19#19 date=1324961259
    you pack six kg of coffee youve roasted yourself, a commercial coffee machine, and a mazzer SJ - as well a generator to power the lot - to take with you camping!
    Nice! Can I come? :)

  24. #24
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    when you visit your wifes family in the US almost every year and now have to drive 26 miles round trip to the closest decent cafe ( www.templecoffee.com ) to get a caffe latte that closely resembles your own back home.

    Occassionally trying cafes closer to the in-laws, but always being dissapointed with the VERY BAD results. Even though when you walk through the doors of one cafe and get your hopes up because you spot a 2 group La Marzocco Linea and 2 Mazzer Super Jollys, only to be frustrated when you struggle to explain you only want an 8oz not a 12oz "small", and then dissapointed when you spot the machine operator with grubby portafilter in hand with spout removed and quite a few used grinds from previous shot and straight in goes the new batch of ground beans. End result being no where near acceptable but you drink it anyway because you need a fix and there is not much choice around.

    So rather than chasing that ellusive nice caffe latte each morning within easy reach and driving the family crazy with my exploits, ive decided to deal with my withdrawl headaches with neurofen + and only go to the decent few cafes in the greater Sacramento area when Im nearby doing other stuff.

    Off to San Francisco tomorrow for a few days so have quite a bit of choice I think.

    Also trying to pickup a cheap 2nd hand machine (maybe Saeco Via Venezia aka Starbucks Barista or non-working hx) to base at the in-laws for those fews weeks each year that Im here. Maybe a grinder as well but pre-ground locally roasted in small batches would be a major step forward to start.

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    /me is waiting for karmanns next post:
    "You know youre a coffeesnob when you purchase a HX machine, grinder, roaster, and kgs of green beans just to keep at the wifes familys place in the US for the ocassional visit" :D

    I know Im a coffeesnob because part of my cyclone preparations included visiting a local snob to pick up some roasted beans so I could take my machine & grinder to the in-laws for Christmas... I had more coffee equpment than presents in the boot. In fact, my MIL thought the machine was a gift... as much as Id like to I cant afford to give you a HX, sorry :D

    Thanks linnaen ;) Everyone enjoyed the coffee on Christmas day (and I still am!)

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 272035232E381E70787878410 link=1324695271/3#3 date=1324701096
    You know youre a Coffeesnob when...

    youve seen at least 3 of these threads before in the time youve been a member.
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1128985912
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1255469165
    http://coffeesnobs.com.au/YaBB.pl?num=1212497720

    :)
    Brett.
    When you know youve posted in at least one of the above...


  27. #27
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When you have a photo of yourself posing with your espresso machine in your wallet, and when folks ask, you have to dig in behind it to find photos of your children which are behind the photo of your grinder.

  28. #28
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    ...you glance at the microwave at work, and to your surprise it has a "Ristretto" button... Only to look a little closer and realise it actually says "risotto". Think I need a coffee!

  29. #29
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 2C2925212D26207F480 link=1324695271/27#27 date=1325646817
    ...you glance at the microwave at work, and to your surprise it has a "Ristretto" button... Only to look a little closer and realise it actually says "risotto".
    ;D

  30. #30
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 5D6E616B765048210F0 link=1324695271/26#26 date=1325169051
    When you have a photo of yourself posing with your espresso machine in your wallet, and when folks ask, you have to dig in behind it to find* photos of your children which are behind the photo of your grinder.
    Not in the wallet but on the phone these days.

    Wife x 2
    Daughter x 3
    Son x 1
    Machine and Grinder x 3

  31. #31
    Senior Member sidewayss's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when...my porn star is Miss Silvia.... :D

    I know, it has been mentioned before.* ;)
    She gives me full satisfaction every day, and she never stops giving full bodied flavours.

    Gary at G

  32. #32
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 363C2F303C33335D0 link=1324695271/23#23 date=1324995814
    when you visit your wifes family in the US almost every year and now have to drive 26 miles round trip to the closest decent cafe ( www.templecoffee.com ) to get a caffe latte that closely resembles your own back home.

    Occassionally trying cafes closer to the in-laws, but always being dissapointed with the VERY BAD results. Even though when you walk through the doors of one cafe and get your hopes up because you spot a 2 group La Marzocco Linea and 2 Mazzer Super Jollys, only to be frustrated when you struggle to explain you only want an 8oz not a 12oz "small", and then dissapointed when you spot the machine operator with grubby portafilter in hand with spout removed and quite a few used grinds from previous shot and straight in goes the new batch of ground beans. End result being no where near acceptable but you drink it anyway because you need a fix and there is not much choice around.

    So rather than chasing that ellusive nice caffe latte each morning within easy reach and driving the family crazy with my exploits, ive decided to deal with my withdrawl headaches with neurofen + and only go to the decent few cafes in the greater Sacramento area when Im nearby doing other stuff.

    Off to San Francisco tomorrow for a few days so have quite a bit of choice I think.

    Also trying to pickup a cheap 2nd hand machine (maybe Saeco Via Venezia aka Starbucks Barista or non-working hx) to base at the in-laws for those fews weeks each year that Im here. Maybe a grinder as well but pre-ground locally roasted in small batches would be a major step forward to start.
    When you here this in a cafe today and remember reading it here, introduce yourself and have a chat.
    Nice to meet you today Karmann

  33. #33
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Yep, what a small snobby world we live in Ronin. Nice to meet you too :-)

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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You only have Yemen Sanaani and PNG Wahgi roasted and have to dial in that new grinder, and you shed a little tear :( for the lost beans before you have even ground them. Then decide, screw it and roast a batch of your cheapest greens just to get your grinder set up. :)

  35. #35
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You understood what Ausnadian just said without having to Google it...

  36. #36
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 676F67606A6C0E0 link=1324695271/34#34 date=1325804563
    You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You understood what Ausnadian just said without having to Google it...

    And after reading it you think to yourself, its waste of time using other beans to dial in a grinder as the new beans will require a different grind anyway ;D

  37. #37
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 222A22252F294B0 link=1324695271/8#8 date=1324731614
    - I listen to a cafe before ordering coffee - if I dont hear the grinder before I hear the doser thwunk, I dont want a coffee

    I had a laugh, I do that as well ;D

  38. #38
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When you make yourself and coffee, just so that you can....make yourself a coffee (didnt REALLY want one!)

  39. #39
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Whats the car in your Avatar? Is it an Alfa? In any case it looks like it would be good parked out front of your regular cafe.
    (If you eliminated a bit of the white space around it you could make it bigger and blind old buggers like me could appreciate it more [smiley=smiley.gif]

  40. #40
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    An Alfa GTV ... would definitely look the part in front of a cafe, but not my first choice.

    Right click on the avatar and click view image; youll be able to see better, and can zoom in for an even closer look.* ;)* This also works on (some, not all) avatars that are photos of members equipment, just in case you want to be properly jealous.* :)

    Cheers, Andrew

  41. #41
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 5C616D65770E0 link=1324695271/38#38 date=1325835941
    Whats the car in your Avatar? Is it an Alfa? In any case it looks like it would be good parked out front of your regular cafe.
    (If you eliminated a bit of the white space around it you could make it bigger and blind old buggers like me could appreciate it more* [smiley=smiley.gif]
    Yep, Its a GTV. Just like the one I used to own. It was a beautiful machine. Ahh these italian machines.... :)

  42. #42
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    you know you are a coffee snob when the other half isnt so sure you should be spending so much money on new equipment... and by the end of the week tells you to just buy it because she is sick of hearing you talk about it!

  43. #43
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When your wifes friends apologize to her for your sake for their coffee choices...
    "What does James like think of Gloria Jeans?"
    "We got a nespresso machine. I know James wouldnt like it but its cleaner, easier..."

  44. #44
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Quote Originally Posted by 3832213E323D3D530 link=1324695271/23#23 date=1324995814
    when you visit your wifes family in the US almost every year and now have to drive 26 miles round trip to the closest decent cafe ( www.templecoffee.com ) to get a caffe latte that closely resembles your own back home.

    Occassionally trying cafes closer to the in-laws, but always being dissapointed with the VERY BAD results. Even though when you walk through the doors of one cafe and get your hopes up because you spot a 2 group La Marzocco Linea and 2 Mazzer Super Jollys, only to be frustrated when you struggle to explain you only want an 8oz not a 12oz "small", and then dissapointed when you spot the machine operator with grubby portafilter in hand with spout removed and quite a few used grinds from previous shot and straight in goes the new batch of ground beans. End result being no where near acceptable but you drink it anyway because you need a fix and there is not much choice around.

    So rather than chasing that ellusive nice caffe latte each morning within easy reach and driving the family crazy with my exploits, ive decided to deal with my withdrawl headaches with neurofen + and only go to the decent few cafes in the greater Sacramento area when Im nearby doing other stuff.

    Off to San Francisco tomorrow for a few days so have quite a bit of choice I think.

    Also trying to pickup a cheap 2nd hand machine (maybe Saeco Via Venezia aka Starbucks Barista or non-working hx) to base at the in-laws for those fews weeks each year that Im here. Maybe a grinder as well but pre-ground locally roasted in small batches would be a major step forward to start.
    When you search for non-working Expobar Office Control in the USA for the last 5 months without seeing anything on eBay, then suddenly 2 appear within days of each other. End up buying one non-working and not complete (water tank and drip trays missing) and then 2 days later getting another to make at least 1 working one if not 2 :D Wont be back in the USA for about 12 months but nice to know I can stop looking, then another adventure begins once I get there with tools in hand.

  45. #45
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    ..when everyone looks at/questions you at work because youre using a Grindripper to make a normal coffee at 5am.

    .. and then you wonder why theyre all asking when its 5am and no coffee shop is open in the first place.

  46. #46
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    ...when your trash smells like used coffee pucks and youre wearing the smile of a druggy on a high.

    The worst is perfecting when youre still perfecting that coffee. Really does your head in (time, money & dangerous levels of caffeine in system).

  47. #47
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    You ask airport security if your grinder can go airside.

  48. #48
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    When your doctor says I think you should cut down on coffee so you change doctors

  49. #49
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    you have to leave your house @ 2am as the Brisbane River flood approaches, and you have to decide which of your espresso machines, grinders, roasters to pack in your small car with the few other important possessions from your life.

    Then 1 hour later sitting on the floor of the local church/SES Evacuation centre youre kicking yourself for not squeezing in the rest of the coffee equipment and some of your greens.

    Luckily I discovered a few days later that the water came up the drive way, but my house and garden were saved. I will know for next time!

  50. #50
    Senior Member Mariner's Avatar
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    Re: You know youre a coffee snob when...

    Behmor Brazen - $249 - Free Freight
    When your azaleas and gardenias are struggling from too much acid in the soil because of recycled coffee grinds and your hydrangeas only flower in dark blue.

    You also know you are a coffee snob when you refer to instant coffee as a different drink - not coffee but a drink.



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