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Thread: Beans of last resort..

  1. #1
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    Beans of last resort..

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    The other day I ran out of beans - not a good situation to be in, but due to a bunch of circumstances, it happened. I couldn't get to any of my preferred roasters and ordering online involves waiting for a few days. As a last resort I bought a small bag of vittoria beans from the supermarket - my tasting notes would be along the lines of 'unpleasant combination of urinal and ashtray with the vaguest hint of something that may resemble coffee'.

    Does anyone have suggestions for a coffee of last resort that bears some resemblance to coffee? If you ever get caught out without beans, what do you do?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jools View Post
    Does anyone have suggestions for a coffee of last resort that bears some resemblance to coffee? If you ever get caught out without beans, what do you do?
    1) Track down the nearest coffee shop, buy a cup, chat them up, explain the emergency and beg a bag of beans !
    2) If 1 fails... Carefully go through ALL the bags on the S'market shelves searching for roast dates or BeanBay dates that inform you the beans were roasted within the last few weeks. You have to learn to decipher the date codes used by different roasters, but that is not too hard.
    Im lucky, i have maybe a dozen coffee shops, 4-5 roasters and 3 large supermarkets , all within 5 mins walk ! ( advantage of city living !)

  3. #3
    Senior Member Luke_G's Avatar
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    If i am in a pickle for coffee and could not be bothered roasting, i'll drop into the busiest cafe i can find and buy some coffee from them. If they are busy enough, their coffee should be fresh enough not to make you vomit.
    If you have the time, pick up a popcorn machine and a few Kg's of green bean.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Abstain! seriously, I'm not that dependent on coffee.

    If and when it happens, and I can assure you its a very rare event, I treat it as an enforced coffee fast, when you do reach an oasis or get a new supply of beans, the break tends to make you appreciate a decent brew even more than usual.

    It also teaches you the fact that it always pays to plan ahead.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke_G View Post
    If i am in a pickle for coffee and could not be bothered roasting, i'll drop into the busiest cafe i can find and buy some coffee from them. If they are busy enough, their coffee should be fresh enough not to make you vomit.
    If you have the time, pick up a popcorn machine and a few Kg's of green bean.
    Come on Luke, if you're out of coffee and cant be bothered roasting you're not in a pickle, you're just bloody lazy.
    Last edited by Yelta; 9th October 2014 at 11:13 PM.

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    I always buy a bag of beans a couple of days before my current bag runs out. If I ever forget, I'll just grab a cup of coffee from one of the good cafes near my office on weekdays. On weekends, I'll just have to treat it as a punishment for forgetting to get them beans
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    Senior Member Vinitasse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Come on Luke, if your out of coffee and cant be bothered roasting your not in a pickle, your just bloody lazy.

    Almost as lazy as someone who couldn't be bothered using an apostrophe to form a proper contraction

    Sorry Yelta... you left the door open on that one

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    Please don't hate on me for saying this. Coles brand. No joke. Unfortunately they may not be available again until Feb. Quality beans by a quality roaster in Melbs at a ridiculous price. High turnover so usually fairly fresh on the shelves.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinitasse View Post
    Almost as lazy as someone who couldn't be bothered using an apostrophe to form a proper contraction

    Sorry Yelta... you left the door open on that one
    G'Day Vinitasse, I was under the impression that possessive pronouns never use an apostrophe, however to keep the peace have changed it.

    right back at ya.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielb View Post
    Please don't hate on me for saying this. Coles brand. No joke. Unfortunately they may not be available again until Feb. Quality beans by a quality roaster in Melbs at a ridiculous price. High turnover so usually fairly fresh on the shelves.
    Don't think anyone hates anyone else on this forum Daniel, certainly not for expressing a preference, however if right now I run out of coffee and decide on your advice to run down to Coles to top up I could be in for a 4 month wait.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Vinitasse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    G'Day Vinitasse, I was under the impression that possessive pronouns never use an apostrophe, however to keep the peace have changed it.

    right back at ya.
    Right you are Yelta... possessive pronouns do not need apostrophes... however... the contraction of you and are is not a possessive pronoun

    Thanks for editing your post... my eyes have stopped bleeding now

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    Quote Originally Posted by danielb View Post
    Please don't hate on me for saying this. Coles brand. No joke. Unfortunately they may not be available again until Feb. Quality beans by a quality roaster in Melbs at a ridiculous price. High turnover so usually fairly fresh on the shelves.
    Thanks Daniel, I'll check the local Coles next time tragedy strikes!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    G'Day Vinitasse, I was under the impression that possessive pronouns never use an apostrophe, however to keep the peace have changed it.

    right back at ya.
    cant / can't? - just sayin'

  14. #14
    Senior Member gonzo89's Avatar
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    I will repeat what others have said, a coffee fast can really be a positive, don't waste precious money. If you do want to spend the money then yes certainly punish yourself by having to go to your favourite cafe.

    I don't know where you are based, but here in Brisbane you might occasionally find beans that were roasted 5-6weeks ago from a local roastery (won't mention names) sitting on a bench at a local independent service station or grocer that shuts late. That is as far as I would ever go. Plan ahead ;-) I completely understand that feeling towards waiting for a bag of beans to arrive. I'm crazy and impulsive, but never enough to buy supermarket beans. Good luck!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Abstain! seriously, I'm not that dependent on coffee.

    If and when it happens, and I can assure you its a very rare event, I treat it as an enforced coffee fast, when you do reach an oasis or get a new supply of beans, the break tends to make you appreciate a decent brew even more than usual.

    It also teaches you the fact that it always pays to plan ahead.
    I was actually going to abstain, this was one of the circumstances that led to the shortage, but at the last moment I decided this wasn't the time for abstinence. And yes, I paid the price for that change of mind!
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke_G View Post
    If i am in a pickle for coffee and could not be bothered roasting, i'll drop into the busiest cafe i can find and buy some coffee from them. If they are busy enough, their coffee should be fresh enough not to make you vomit.
    If you have the time, pick up a popcorn machine and a few Kg's of green bean.
    Actually the idea of home roasting has been on my mind a bit lately, particularly for this sort of situation. I did pick up a couple of cheap Aldi woks a little while ago to start experimenting with home roast, but the more I read up about wok roasting the more I think a popcorn popper might be a more sensible starting point.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Don't think anyone hates anyone else on this forum Daniel, certainly not for expressing a preference, however if right now I run out of coffee and decide on your advice to run down to Coles to top up I could be in for a 4 month wait.
    I've heard a few stores may still have a couple of bags left. They could be back much sooner depending on the buyer. There are also a few Coles Single Origins that will be there if the blend isn't. All roasted by Home | Justin Metcalf

  18. #18
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Changed it back again Vinitasse

    Personal pronouns (words like I, you, he, she, it, we, they) indicate the possessive by becoming a whole new word. These new words are already possessive, so they don't need an apostrophe: my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs. Note that none of them has an apostrophe.

    Rules for correct use of the apostrophe


    Ping me your postal address and I'll send
    you a bottle of Murine.



  19. #19
    Senior Member Vinitasse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Changed it back again Vinitasse

    Personal pronouns (words like I, you, he, she, it, we, they) indicate the possessive by becoming a whole new word. These new words are already possessive, so they don't need an apostrophe: my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs. Note that none of them has an apostrophe.

    Rules for correct use of the apostrophe


    Ping me your postal address and I'll send
    you a bottle of Murine.


    Your = possessive pronoun
    Yours = possessive pronoun
    You're = contraction of you and are... as in "you are" being silly here and is NOT a possessive pronoun.
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielb View Post
    I've heard a few stores may still have a couple of bags left. They could be back much sooner depending on the buyer. There are also a few Coles Single Origins that will be there if the blend isn't. All roasted by Home | Justin Metcalf
    It doesnt matter who's name is on the package, or how good the beans were,..if the roast date is more than 3 weeks past, you may as well save your money.
    Unfortunately, the "specialty" brands often turn over much slower than the big name or house brand packs, and as a result they tend to linger on the shelf for months.

  21. #21
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    My favorite " emergency " beans are available at Woolies only.
    Macro Organic Peruvian coffee beans.... $6.99 for a 200 gm bag.
    Packaging blurb describes them as medium blend, chocolate, cinnamon with citrus berry notes.
    I've found that to be an honest review. Although it's classified as medium, I rate it on the high end of medium... nice crema and quite nice when your private bin stock runs out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by blend52 View Post
    It doesnt matter who's name is on the package, or how good the beans were,..if the roast date is more than 3 weeks past, you may as well save your money.
    Unfortunately, the "specialty" brands often turn over much slower than the big name or house brand packs, and as a result they tend to linger on the shelf for months.
    The big supermarkets don't have much of a sense of humour when it comes to stock sitting on their valuable shelf space for months. I have no idea how long they sit but I would guess "months" would be a long time for any item to be parked on a Cole's shelf. If it's not selling quota the line is gonna get pulled. I could be wrong though - would be interested to check the packaging for dates. Pretty sure Coles beans use a 12mo "best before" date.

  23. #23
    Senior Member fatboy_1999's Avatar
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    A 12 month 'best before' is a pointless reference.
    Beans remain safe to drink for quite a long time after roasting, but they are usually at their best within a 3 week period from roasting and ALWAYS will be past their best after 8 weeks. Many will argue that it would be earlier, but I'm being generous.

    Supermarkets might not want stuff on their shelves for a long time, but the turnover on roasted beans is not super and the route to market for most of these brands means they are all usually WELL past the 3 week old mark by the time they get there. And if the pack doesn't have a roasted on date - not worth spending your hard earned on it!

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    Quote Originally Posted by fatboy_1999 View Post
    A 12 month 'best before' is a pointless reference.
    The point of the 12 month "best before" date is to subtract 12 months and you get your "roasted on" date. It's just like magic!!!

  25. #25
    Senior Member magnafunk's Avatar
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    Those Justin metcalf beans actually have a roasted on date stamp. I bought some when I was in a bind and although I don't remember exactly what they tasted like, I know I didn't enjoy them. They were roasted 18 days prior to use I believe

  26. #26
    Senior Member Luke_G's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Come on Luke, if your out of coffee and cant be bothered roasting your not in a pickle, your just bloody lazy.
    Bugger! Guilty as charged Haha

    Not to gloat but i can not remember the last time i did not have access to coffee. Well over 10 years for sure.
    I am spoiled you could say. Whilst the far north coast is not known for being the coffee mecca of Australia, i personally have access to as much coffee as i can carry most of the time and i am very thankful for that.
    When times are at their roughest, i'll just fire up ye old(in the first AU shipment) Behmor and randomly weigh out 200g of the 20+kg of green bean i have stashed away in the cupboard.

    Take my word for it jools, skip the wok and pick up a popper. You will most likely ruin as much coffee as you would in a wok but at least you will be on the path to correctly(or would that be incorrectly?) using the popper. You will get nowhere near a genuinely palatable coffee from a wok.

    P.S. Felling like i need a PHD in proper Engrish to post here now
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  27. #27
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinitasse View Post
    Your = possessive pronoun
    Yours = possessive pronoun
    You're = contraction of you and are... as in "you are" being silly here and is NOT a possessive pronoun.
    Well I'll just have to give you best on this one Vinitasse,

    English never was my best subject, to save myself the expense of a bottle of Murine I'll change it back again.
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  28. #28
    Senior Member fatboy_1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielb View Post
    The point of the 12 month "best before" date is to subtract 12 months and you get your "roasted on" date. It's just like magic!!!
    Not quite. A best before is not like a use by. They are much looser in their application. Within certain limits, it is up to each business to put their own 'range' on their product. So it might mean they were roasted 14 months ago and have a 2 month route to market etc.

    Of course, if you know the roasted date or you know they use a 12 month period for the best before calculation, that's great.
    If you don't know either of those, then you are still just guessing.

  29. #29
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    I read somewhere to give beans a little quick steam and dry to freshen, and on rare occassions, tried about 60 seconds in a rice cooker steamer with about 2 teaspoons of smokey flavoured bourbon in 100mls of water.. Quick in and out of the steam, and then drop the beans in a slow oven for 10 minutes to sweat out a tad.

    As an emergency, it works for me, but would be interested in others opinion.

  30. #30
    CoffeeSnobs Owner Andy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cjphawk View Post
    I read somewhere to give beans a little quick steam and dry to freshen...
    ...but would be interested in others opinion.
    Opinion? EWWWW.
    If you' be need'n to stea'm yourer beens they mite bee betterer use'd as compost on the gard'n!

    'Andy.


    (having used my weekly apostrophe quota in one post, I will now type "your" for the next week)
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  31. #31
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    For my emergency beans, I tend to go to Woolies. They used to have a little known brand that was good but no longer have it. Their own brand is ok but I can only get good extraction for four or so days. I some times get the green Harris beans. Not too bad. The Coles range in the cardboard packs are rubbish.

    I've gotten beans from high volume cafes before and got poor results. I've even had poor results from roasted to order. I told them about the tasteless beans and they sent a replacement bag. That was better but contained a small stone that would of ruined my grinder.
    Last edited by BeanMonkey; 28th October 2014 at 01:50 PM.

  32. #32
    Senior Member Vinitasse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cjphawk View Post
    I read somewhere to give beans a little quick steam and dry to freshen, and on rare occassions, tried about 60 seconds in a rice cooker steamer with about 2 teaspoons of smokey flavoured bourbon in 100mls of water.. Quick in and out of the steam, and then drop the beans in a slow oven for 10 minutes to sweat out a tad.

    As an emergency, it works for me, but would be interested in others opinion.
    My opinion is that you need to upgrade your reading material. This is pretty much the most shockingly horrible thing I have ever read on this forum. No offense meant but YUCK x 1,000,000 !!!
    gonzo89 and mrvautin like this.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatboy_1999 View Post
    Not quite. A best before is not like a use by. They are much looser in their application. Within certain limits, it is up to each business to put their own 'range' on their product. So it might mean they were roasted 14 months ago and have a 2 month route to market etc.

    Of course, if you know the roasted date or you know they use a 12 month period for the best before calculation, that's great.
    If you don't know either of those, then you are still just guessing.
    Some roasters do actually put a "production" or a "packed" date on their products (EG: Gloria Jeans),
    For others, if you never see a date greater than say 12 months forward, it's pretty obvious they are using a 12 month BEst Before date ..(EG : Harris and Vittoria both are local roasters, and no matter how hard or often you look, you never see a pack with a date greater than 51 weeks ahead !)

  34. #34
    Senior Member noonar's Avatar
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    Behmor Brazen - $249 - Free Freight
    I abstain or have a cup of leaf Darjeeling. I heard... that if you inadvertantly catch a carp or a blowfish whilst fishing, you can insert a well seasoned gumtree twig through them and roast them slow for 6 hours over a naked charcoal flame... throw the fish away gnaw on the twig - never tried it though ;-)



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