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Thread: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

  1. #1
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    Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    I was walking past the coffee aisle in the supermarket yesterday and spotted this:




    I knew I shouldnt have, but Im a sucker for a gadget/novelty *::) so I cracked it open and tried it this morning.

    So, how did it taste?

    I was amazed at the initial burst of aromatics - blueberries, with a subtle caramel undertone. *It also had a long aftertaste, which developed into cinnamon.

    Actually no.... it tasted like sh!t!

    I knew in advance it was going to be bad... but not this bad. *This was sooo offensive, I suspect Satan himself urinated in this cup and the manufacturers then tried to mask the flavour with a dozen teaspoons of sugar as an afterthought.

    Luckily, I had some first aid at hand that I administered immediately (PNG Peaberry) - phew! *;)

    "Fine Coffee" indeed.



  2. #2
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Love the descriptions coffeequaffer...especially the transition from fantasy to reality!

    Im sure that with enough technology and chemicals the day will come when most wont tell the difference. Except it wont be coffee.

    At least you were prepared for the assault on the senses.

    --Robusto

  3. #3
    Super Moderator scoota_gal's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Bwahahahahaha, Coffeequaffer! Thats the funniest thing! Self heating can! Whatever will they think of next!? :o

  4. #4
    Senior Member Dennis's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Hey coffee quaffer, maybe you drank the quicklime instead of the coffee? :o ;D

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    I had a laugh - good story. Made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.

  6. #6
    Super Moderator Javaphile's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Youll be seeing more and more products that come in a self-heating container. Right behind them are self-cooling containers. The self-heating ones have been slowly infiltrating the grocery shelves here for some time now. Ive not yet seen any of the self-cooling ones but supposedly theyll be here soon if they arent already.


    Java "Dont ya love technology?!" phile

  7. #7
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    CQ can we have another pic of the ingrediants please.
    I can see salt (!!!) in the pic youve loaded.

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis link=1186896563/0#3 date=1186909116
    Hey coffee quaffer, maybe you drank the quicklime instead of the coffee? * :o ;D
    If only I had of been that lucky! (at least that would have made for a less unpleasant experience *;D )

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Nice one - looks like a shocker!

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1186896563/0#6 date=1186917743
    CQ can we have another pic of the ingrediants please.
    I can see salt (!!!) in the pic youve loaded.
    TG, just for you I fetched the can out of the rubbish bin (hence causing this can to cause a second dry-wretch today*;))

    In order of most to least, ingredients are:
    "Satans urine, Coffee (water, coffee), milk solids non fat, milk, sugar, pectin, emulsifier (339), salt and monoglycerides."






    Did you spot the deliberate mistake?
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    .....Coffee in the ingredients list? *Yeah right *:)

  11. #11
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Thanks for that CQ.

    Sorry about the wretching again. *:-[

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    giggled like a schoolgirl

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Is this the coffeesnobs equiv of extreme adventure? Fire walking, bungee jumping, BASE jumping, but without the exhileration?

    Thanks for trying it out and the detailed report.

    BTW satan may be offended by your comparison:-)

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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Quote Originally Posted by Gadget link=1186896563/0#12 date=1186921056
    Is this the coffeesnobs equiv of extreme adventure? Fire walking, bungee jumping, BASE jumping, but without the exhileration?

    Thanks for trying it out and the detailed report.

    BTW satan may be offended by your comparison:-)
    Bwahaha! *I hadnt really thought of it that way Gadget. *Putting my life on the line so that other Coffeesnobs dont have to *;)

    Wow - there really is no "I" in Coffeesnob....

  15. #15
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Hi All,

    Did a spot of grocery shopping last night, and came across this can of sludge. The shop also had a "French Vanilla Latte" flavour on sale to tempt the tastebuds............

    CF

  16. #16
    Gar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Has anyone ever walked passed a wet paint sign and was just compelled to see if it was wet ?

    I know if I see a can of this Ill be tempted to try it just to see how bad it is.

    Must...fight...the...urge...

  17. #17
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    It has to be better than the Nescafe self heating coffee they have in the UK!

  18. #18
    Senior Member julsajet's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Quote Originally Posted by Coffee Quaffer link=1186896563/0#9 date=1186919688
    TG, just for you I fetched the can out of the rubbish bin (hence causing this can to cause a second dry-wretch today*;))

    .....Coffee in the ingredients list? *Yeah right *:)
    Calling this stuff coffee is a crime.
    Ugh, I did a couple of dry retches myself just reading...

    Ive know the call of the curiosity too - sometimes the gadgets are just too compelling.

  19. #19
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Quote Originally Posted by coffeefetish link=1186896563/0#14 date=1187044710
    Hi All,

    The shop also had a "French Vanilla Latte" flavour on sale to tempt the tastebuds............

    CF
    After a week of therapy, I mustered the courage to walk down the coffee aisle again yesterday and noticed a third flavour had been introduced - Hazlenut.

    The mere sight of all three flavours together caused me to break into a cold sweat, double over and start wretching (again) like a cat coughing up a fur-ball. *Needless to say, the other shoppers navigated themselves and their trolleys around me with a very wide berth.

    After I re-gained my composure, I quickly slipped out of the Supermarket via the "8 Items of Less lane only to hear an urgent announcement over the PA system behind me:

    "Clean Up, Aisle 9... Clean Up, Aisle 9."

    Looks like Ill be continuing with the therapy just a little longer... * :-/

    -A-

    Disclaimer: Actual series of events have been embellished to exaggerate the authors dislike of the product. *;D

  20. #20
    CoffeeSnobs Owner Andy's Avatar
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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)


    That is a cack.

    The coffee(ish) product was bad but how did the self heating go?


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    Re: Curiosity killed the CoffeeSnob...(almost)

    Behmor Brazen - $249 - Free Freight
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy Freeman link=1186896563/15#19 date=1187535161
    That is a cack.

    The coffee(ish) product was bad but how did the self heating go?
    I was very cautious with my first sip (especially after reading all of the warnings on the can), but it was nowhere near scalding hot. *Certainly not hot enough for me to *spill it over my lap and sue them for $20 million (hence the reason I am back at work this morning) *;)

    Id hazard a guess at low 60s - pretty surprising really.

    -A-



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