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Thread: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

  1. #1
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    You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Is a coffee snob someone who works in the coffee industry?

    Is a coffee snob someone who knows all about espresso, how they are supposed to be made and accepts nothing less?

    Is a coffee snob someone who is continually on the lookout for the Holy Grail and is going to have a hell of a time enjoying the trip getting there?


    Is a coffee snob someone who loves coffee and wants to learn all they can about it to enjoy it better?

    Is a coffee snob someone who loves to drink good coffee in cafes with friends/family/solo?

    Is a coffee snob someone who has the most expensive machine, and knows how to use it, of cause?

    You know you are a coffee snob when you roast your own.

    You know you’re a coffee snob when you think, there must be something better than instant.

    You know you are a coffee snob when you plan your holiday and you think, is there a coffee plantation nearby?

    You know you are both coffee snobs when your wife says to you, ‘you know darling, I think my bubbles are smaller than yours’.

    Which coffee snob are you? Are there others?

    You know you are a coffee snob when..........

  2. #2
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    You know you are a "true coffee snob" when you see a new piece of coffee related paraphernalia....

    You then research the item as thoroughly as you can.....

    You try it..... or beg someone else to let you try theirs.....

    You decide (if it meets your expectations)..... you HAVE TO HAVE IT!!!

    The last thing you look at is the price..... and regardless of the number of zeros on the price tag..... you get one!!!

    And when a better one becomes available.... you get that as well!!!

    You are then a very impoverished (but extremely happy) - true coffee snob!! ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

  3. #3
    Senior Member Koffee_Kosmo's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    I will take for now
    You know you are a coffee snob when..........
    1) Am a coffee snob anyone who is passionate about coffee, any coffee?

    2) Is a coffee snob someone who has "an" expensive machine, and knows how to use it, (I try my best)of cause?

    3) You know you are a coffee snob when you roast your own


    But I reserve the right to add or subtract as I discover that in fact I have more categories than the above.
    Its an ever - changing coffee world in which we live in

    KK

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Well......

    For me, being a coffeesnob means never accepting anything but the highest quality, most freshly roasted beans, and then only ground immediately before brewing 8-) - what ever method that might be,

    Mal.

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    when......

    You are goiing away for the weekend and you ask SWMBO if you can take the machine.....

    You roast your own.......

    You only drink Tea when away from home..........

    Mal

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    In your caravan you have stored:
    - a spare Baratza grinder
    - a spare espresso machine
    - a spare Hottop coffee roaster

    Not that I do...

    I keep the spare Hottop and espresso machine in the house until we are packing to leave!

  7. #7
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    - When you buy a Presso to make coffee when away.
    - When one of your spare grinders is a Gino Rossi conical.
    - When you get coffee themed presents from relatives instead of socks and aftershave.
    - When your green been stash is >50kg.

  8. #8
    Senior Member redzone121's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    You belong to this forum and visit it daily?...with pleasure !

  9. #9
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Only daily?

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    1) You are perfectly happy with the your equipment at home, until you log onto here and read about someone elses machine / grinder combo and get machine envy

    2) Paying for the weekly supply of beans ranks ahead of paying for the phone and electric bill

    3) You sit in a cafe wondering if it is safe to order a coffee, or will you just end up dissapointed knowin you can make better at home.

    4) Instant is not allowed in the house, at all, period

    Sen

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    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Franco link=1212497720/0#0 date=1212497719
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    ???

    Google translation: Italian » English

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    Over the SEND June, and you pull on

  12. #12
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Coffee Snob:

    "After moving higher in the coffee evolutionary tree, anything lower is no longer good enough"


    (Apologies to any Intelligent Design adherents who may not follow any evolutionary theories, even coffee ones)

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator link=1212497720/0#9 date=1212534216
    3) You sit in a cafe wondering if it is safe to order a coffee, or will you just end up dissapointed knowin you can make better at home.
    Sen
    At a cafe you know you will never visit again you purposely wait until the end of the meal , you order a coffee, knowing it will be terrible, just so you can confront the manager, in detail, about how poor the coffee was and why. When he becomes stuffy about it, you ask him what plantation the coffee was from, and when he says he has no idea, you walk out laughing out loud.

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Randy G. link=1212497720/0#12 date=1212551809
    Quote Originally Posted by Senator link=1212497720/0#9 date=1212534216
    3) You sit in a cafe wondering if it is safe to order a coffee, or will you just end up dissapointed knowin you can make better at home.
    Sen
    At a cafe you know you will never visit again you purposely wait until the end of the meal , you order a coffee, knowing it will be terrible, just so you can confront the manager, in detail, about how poor the coffee was and why. When he becomes stuffy about it, you ask him what plantation the coffee was from, and when he says he has no idea, you walk out laughing out loud.
    Ooh thats harsh. 8-)

  15. #15
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus link=1212497720/0#10 date=1212536048
    Quote Originally Posted by Franco link=1212497720/0#0 date=1212497719
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    ???

    Google translation: Italian » English

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    Over the SEND June, and you pull on
    Babel translation:
    It sends more it down, and to more it pulls you on.

  16. #16
    Senior Member greenman's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    I drink black tea when I visit rellies as they only have blend 43!!

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    When...

    1. You rather endure a no-coffee headache than stop by a cafe with an umbrella with a big-name coffee company name to buy a coffee. *
    2. When you keep a machine and grinder in your office desk and lug both to the kitchen (and back to the desk) every morning when you want a cuppa.
    3. When you wait around in an empty car parking lot at Docklands on a cold morning pacing back and forth circling a white van (Bean Bay pickup point in Feb)
    4. When you actually seriously contemplated bringing your own roasted beans to a cafe and asking them to use it to make your coffee and not minding paying full price....

  18. #18
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus link=1212497720/0#10 date=1212536048
    Quote Originally Posted by Franco link=1212497720/0#0 date=1212497719
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    ???

    Google translation: Italian » English

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    Over the SEND June, and you pull on
    ‘Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su’, was the 1980-1990s advertising jingle of Segafredo, the famous Italian coffee company.

    The best translation of it would be, The more you drink, the better you’ll feel!

    F.

  19. #19
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1212497720/0#14 date=1212566758
    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus link=1212497720/0#10 date=1212536048
    Quote Originally Posted by Franco link=1212497720/0#0 date=1212497719
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    ???

    Google translation: Italian » English

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    Over the SEND June, and you pull on
    Babel translation:
    It sends more it down, and to more it pulls you on.
    Isnt that what mine said?

  20. #20
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1212497720/15#18 date=1212578848
    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1212497720/0#14 date=1212566758
    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus link=1212497720/0#10 date=1212536048
    Quote Originally Posted by Franco link=1212497720/0#0 date=1212497719
    Well - what is a coffee snob?

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    ???

    Google translation: Italian » English

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    Over the SEND June, and you pull on
    Babel translation:
    It sends more it down, and to more it pulls you on.
    Isnt that what mine said?
    Of cause!!! ::) ;D ;D ;D

  21. #21
    Senior Member javabeen's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    A coffeesnob for me is when
    ...taking the coffee machine with you is the first thing that comes to mind when going away...and you have a serious discussion with the family when they wont give up the boot space for it, the grinder, and the beans, and the tamper, and you try and negotiate by saying youre leaving the tamping mat and knock box at home.
    ...coffee is always on your mind
    ...the last shot you made at home in the morning before going to work that wasnt so good leaves you wondering all day at work how youre going to make it better
    ...you think buying coffee is like gambling - am I going to get a winner this time?
    ...the coffee you just paid $3 for disappoints and youre thinking " I could have bought approx 333g of green beans with that $3"...and you tell them and they look at you bewildered
    ...I could keep going, but enough already!

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    A coffeesnob is when you go into a new cafe, and beyond your expecation, the coffee was execllent, the first thing you think is, I have to post a note on CoffeeSnobs about this one before any one else does.

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    youve considered, just for a brief moment, trading in your offspring for a mistral

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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by NewToEspresso link=1212497720/15#16 date=1212568731
    When...

    1. You rather endure a no-coffee headache than stop by a cafe with an umbrella with a big-name coffee company name to buy a coffee. *
    2. When you keep a machine and grinder in your office desk and lug both to the kitchen (and back to the desk) every morning when you want a cuppa.
    3. When you wait around in an empty car parking lot at Docklands on a cold morning pacing back and forth circling a white van (Bean Bay pickup point in Feb)
    4. When you actually seriously contemplated bringing your own roasted beans to a cafe and asking them to use it to make your coffee and not minding paying full price....
    So, so true. I have thought this many a time.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Stan's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    1. When you can identify the bean from the aroma
    2. When you critique a baristas technique and know the coffee will not taste as it should
    3. When you drive 100 kilometers just so you can get a coffee at a particular Roaster.


  26. #26
    Senior Member Lovey's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    When you pop around to a friends house for a coffee and they get a nervous look on their face, like theyre about to sit for an exam ;D.

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    Senior Member GregWormald's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    When your friends open champagne rather than offer a coffee. (Yippee--I got them trained at last!)
    Greg

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    In an effort to maintain consistent quality you now grow and harvest your own fruit from the backyard. Havent roasted it yet so I am fairly sure it will be consistent but not sure at what level. :-/ Oh well at least I know it is organic.

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    ... when you wake up in the night thinking of minor improvements to your home-made roasting setup
    ... when your research for a holiday begins with searching CoffeeSnobs for cafe recommendations

    The latter is critical - for the Tasmanian winter campervan trip Im planning, I can accept some coffee free days when Im away from civilisation. But the thought of enduring the entire trip without any good coffee at all is unthinkable. Thanks to this forum I have a small printed list in my wallet of places in Tas where I can get some coffee satisfaction.

    Not that Im addicted of course, its just a nutritional requirement I have. :)

  30. #30
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Yeah, I count it towards my daily fruit intake.

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    .....you pour a fantastic shot and think, that was excellent, now I wonder what that would taste like if.......and you do make another one to see if you can nail it.... and that one is nice and you think wow what if.............and you would love to have another but how many can you have in one day.................dam!!!!!!!

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Oily link=1212497720/15#28 date=1212826218
    ... when you wake up in the night thinking of minor improvements to your home-made roasting setup
    Yep, relate to this one wholeheartedly. :)

  33. #33
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by Oily link=1212497720/15#28 date=1212826218
    ... when you wake up in the night thinking of minor improvements to your home-made roasting setup
    LEVEL1
    ...when you go to bed at night, mulling around in your head what went wrong with the last pull of espresso that just wasnt quite right, and you wake up with the solution and jolt out of bed to get to the espresso machine to try it as soon as possible.

    LEVEL2
    ...when you go to bed at night, mulling around in your head what went wrong with the last pull of espresso that just wasnt quite right, and you wake up and look at the pad of paper next to the bed and realize that you had written down the solution during the night and have no memory of waking to do so.

    LEVEL3
    ...when you go to bed at night, mulling around in your head what went wrong with the last pull of espresso that just wasnt quite right, and you wake up and go to make the espresso you see that the grinder has been readjusted and there is a sticky note to yourself, in your writing, to try dosing just a bit less and have no memory of waking to do so.

    LEVEL4
    ..as above in LEVEL3, but the sticky note is signed: "The Coffee Elves."

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Piu la mandi giu, e piu ti tira su
    That translates roughly to - the more you send her away, the more she pulls you back on top.

    You know youre a coffee snob when... you vaguely consider paying $3 to get behind the machine in the cafe and making your own coffee.

    Am I alone?

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    I like the intergerity of your translation danahooshmand, its fairly close, but, I think we can do better.

    the more you send her down, the more she pulls you back on top :o ;D ;D ;D

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    ...When you have different bean origins written into your practise score to describe the character of the music.

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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    When you pay your $3.50 and politely sit to watch your friends drink thier Coffees while you leave yours to sit and wait to get home to make your own....

    P.S. As a new cafe owner... if ever anyone comes into my Cafe, the door is always open to anyone who thinks they can do better! :)

    I had a saying in the last place I was employed in as a Barista, there is no room for Egos when you are striving for good coffee!

  38. #38
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by scooter link=1212497720/20#31 date=1212921256
    Quote Originally Posted by Oily link=1212497720/15#28 date=1212826218
    ... when you wake up in the night thinking of minor improvements to your home-made roasting setup
    Yep, relate to this one wholeheartedly. :)
    I thought this one was just me.

    Significant other: "Whats wrong hun, you were mumbling in your sleep?"

    Me: "I think if I shift the heat gun mount I can hinge the whole thing to dump straight into the cooler!"

    ....

    "Go back to sleep"

  39. #39
    Super Moderator Javaphile's Avatar
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    Re: You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    ...you vacuum your car out and find green beans scattered through-out it.


    Java "Looking around innocently" phile

  40. #40
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    Re: You know when you are a coffee snob when......

    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus link=1212497720/0#11 date=1212539063
    Coffee Snob:

    "After moving higher in the coffee evolutionary tree, anything lower is no longer good enough"


    (Apologies to any Intelligent Design adherents who may not follow any evolutionary theories, even coffee ones)
    Thatd be microevolution, not macroevolution ;D

  41. #41
    Senior Member saoye's Avatar
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    ...your dessert order of affogato is put in front of you and you start by holding the espresso shot up to the light to inspect the crema and then taking a sniff of the content, only to be told by a passing waitress that "it's coffee" thinking that you may be puzzled by what it is...and you fight the urge to reply "Is it?" because from the smell and by sight you know that the espresso shot is from very stale beans...and you are thankful that this stale espresso is going to be smothered by the vanilla bean ice cream and the kaluah shot!!

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    when you go the urinate you grasp the opportunity to practice your rosetta's, pity urine dissolves too quickly in water. Anyway true story.. Hope i didnt cross any site rules :-s

  43. #43
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Waaaaay too much information.

  44. #44
    Senior Member mwcalder05's Avatar
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    When you feel depressed when you have to grind out beans for customers who say "That'll last us a month!"

  45. #45
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wynton87 View Post
    when you go the urinate you grasp the opportunity to practice your rosetta's, pity urine dissolves too quickly in water. Anyway true story.. Hope i didnt cross any site rules :-s
    Any of your customers complain about their coffee tasting a bit acidic?

  46. #46
    Not a Shoe Jimmytheboot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barry O'Speedwagon View Post
    Any of your customers complain about their coffee tasting a bit acidic?
    Not this guy

    mwcalder05 likes this.

  47. #47
    Coffee Nut fg1972's Avatar
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    Telling an interested onlooker asking lots of questions to SHOOSH while you are pulling an espresso so you can count to 20 seconds in your head.

  48. #48
    Senior Member BLrdFX's Avatar
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    You know you are a Coffee Snob when you don't want to upgrade, but maybe just branch out laterally

  49. #49
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    you order long blacks in cafe's as you know you'll at least be able to politely get it down no matter how bad it is whereas an espresso would be sprayed around the room.

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    You know that you are a coffee snob when......

    Behmor Brazen - $249 - Free Freight
    You pull out your keys and stir your coffee with the naked portafilter keying from coffeesnobs, hmm; maybe I'm a coffee slob



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