Results 1 to 14 of 14
Like Tree16Likes
  • 1 Post By Smee
  • 1 Post By magnafunk
  • 2 Post By Smee
  • 1 Post By trentski
  • 1 Post By ArtW
  • 2 Post By Magic_Matt
  • 1 Post By degaulle
  • 1 Post By Smee
  • 1 Post By Smee
  • 1 Post By Magic_Matt
  • 2 Post By trentski
  • 1 Post By Barry O'Speedwagon
  • 1 Post By trentski

Thread: Designing a Grinder

  1. #1
    Apprentice Coffee snob
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    320

    Arrow Designing a Grinder

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    I know what Espresso machine I will buy this year, it was easy to pick and there's virtually dozens of good models on the market but I'm not so certain what Grinder I will get to replace this old clunker here.

    Got me thinking. If I could design a Grinder, what features would I designnin it to make it the ultimate Grinder?

    1. It would have 'dual' grinding ability, Conical & Flat burrs, flick of a switch would direct the beans to the correct burr. The burrs would be rated to grind 40 squillion tonnes.

    2. Stepless adjustment with a computerised, voice activated interface.

    3. Robust construction

    4. Internet connectivity, so you could share settings with fellow Snobs and instantly download slow motion footage of Beans being ground as it occurred. It would have a 40 gigawacky doolacky, making it upgradable as technology advanced

    5. 25 year warranty (BECOS I will be dead after that)

    6. Numerous hopper options

    7. Zero grind retention

    8. Faaaaast

    9. Quiet but not too quiet

    10. It would be beautiful like a Slayer & could be customised to its back teeth.



    If you could design a Grinder, what features would you give it?
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  2. #2
    Senior Member magnafunk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    East Kimberley
    Posts
    545
    Why not get it to cook your dinner and drive you to the pub too?
    Dimal likes this.

  3. #3
    Apprentice Coffee snob
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    320
    Quote Originally Posted by magnafunk View Post
    Why not get it to cook your dinner and drive you to the pub too?

    That would put tge wife wife out of a job.
    Magic_Matt and Gavisconi007 like this.

  4. #4
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Altona, Melbourne
    Posts
    1,581
    Needs to roast the beans and store them until they are at their prime. Then automatically grind them to the right fineness for the preprogrammed brewing method. Dialling in becomes a thing of the past
    Smee likes this.

  5. #5
    Senior Member magnafunk's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    East Kimberley
    Posts
    545
    Hey why not get it to drink the results also

  6. #6
    Senior Member ArtW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    131
    Quote Originally Posted by Smee View Post

    10. It would be beautiful like a Slayer & could be customised to its back teeth.
    Is there currently such a thing as a beautiful grinder? I can't think of any. My Macap M4 is shiny and impressive but I wouldn't go as far as to call it beautiful. In my mind a beautiful grinder could be re-bodied sette in a chromed body that's curvy and looks like a rearing cobra.
    Dimal likes this.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Magic_Matt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Northlandia
    Posts
    1,363

    Designing a Grinder

    Quote Originally Posted by ArtW View Post
    Is there currently such a thing as a beautiful grinder? I can't think of any. My Macap M4 is shiny and impressive but I wouldn't go as far as to call it beautiful. In my mind a beautiful grinder could be re-bodied sette in a chromed body that's curvy and looks like a rearing cobra.
    I'm biased of course, but I'm still very taken with the 1950s art deco styling of the ECM V-Titan 64.

    kbc and Smee like this.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Netherlands
    Posts
    98
    Regarding voice recognition, what would the appropriate password be to activate it ? "Rosebud" or "Grind, you MF" ?
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  9. #9
    Apprentice Coffee snob
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    320
    Quote Originally Posted by degaulle View Post
    Regarding voice recognition, what would the appropriate password be to activate it ? "Rosebud" or "Grind, you MF" ?

    Haaa ha, love it.

    It would be like Siri, "Now now Smee, there's no need for that kind of talk"

    Magic_Matt likes this.

  10. #10
    Apprentice Coffee snob
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    320
    Quote Originally Posted by Magic_Matt View Post
    I'm biased of course, but I'm still very taken with the 1950s art deco styling of the ECM V-Titan 64.

    You just like catching you're own naked reflection in the Grinder as you errrr, as you grind it (as in make coffee, that is)
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Magic_Matt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Northlandia
    Posts
    1,363

    Designing a Grinder

    Quote Originally Posted by Smee View Post
    You just like catching you're own naked reflection in the Grinder as you errrr, as you grind it (as in make coffee, that is)
    Exactly so

    @OP; I would ditch the internet connectivity and voice activation and simply integrate with home LAN and smartingfone via Bluetooth and WiFi.

    Then you can pick up smarts like voice control and so on using SIRI and an app or other hardware like Google Home or Amazon Echo etc. rather than reinventing the wheel.
    Smee likes this.

  12. #12
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Altona, Melbourne
    Posts
    1,581
    Get your phone out to grind a shot? No thanks. Telepathic link is the way
    Magic_Matt and Smee like this.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    PRL
    Posts
    2,633
    Quote Originally Posted by K_Bean_Coffee View Post
    Yep - Telepathy is good. Forget the phone and remember the KISS principle.

    What, that you want to rock and roll all night, and party every day?
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  14. #14
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Altona, Melbourne
    Posts
    1,581
    Quote Originally Posted by Barry O'Speedwagon View Post
    What, that you want to rock and roll all night, and party every day?
    Its a must have for any grinder i buy
    Smee likes this.



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •