Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Coffee at Warp 9

  1. #1
    Senior Member speleomike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    934

    Coffee at Warp 9

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    Hi all

    What we really need is a special jar where there is an inlet and an outlet but you only see one inlet because its the same physical hole as the outlet with the difference that the outlet and the inlet are separated in time. Whatever you pour into the inlet pops out the same hole a day or so later, the time difference controlled by some means. (minor detail)


    Code:
    Where I am now                 Where I will be 
    At the present                 In the future
    
      ====/\/                        /======
    Inlet  /\/______________________/    Coffee  
    to    space/time warp tunnel =>    Jar
    Jar    /----------------------/\/    Outlet
      ====/                        /\/======
    I pre-grind the coffee and pour the grinds in and when I want some fresh coffee I shake the bottle and fresh coffee pours out :-)

    No need for complicated vacuum systems or nitrogen purging or compression bottles. Just fresh coffee where and when I want it, just minutes old.

    Mike

  2. #2
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    10,496

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    I think youre onto something Mike.

    Its been a few years since I read Einstein but I spotted a copy in Angus & Robertsons the other day.

    It might be worth sourcing a copy and brushing up on the time/space continuum.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    505

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    Good thinking Mike.

    I guess you could start by roasting some beans to CS20. They would be so black that they would absorb all electromagnetic radiation and turn into a singlarity. This could be the basis for your jar.
    I could see an issue that the gravity would be too high and in effect crush the beans too fine. This may choke up your machine.

    You could also try the Ronald Mallets method.
    Just start with two Correttos. Wire up one so it spins in a different direction and shine a really bright light in. The paddles will spins the high powered photons in a spiral. Put them through a really cold fridge. This should slow down the photons and warp space time. The nice thing about this idea about this is that change the direction in which the beans go in determine how far in the future it goes. You can also change the temp to determine this.
    But the fact that the fridge needs to be about 0 degrees Kelvin it will freeze the beans. Some people say this is no good for coffee. Others disagree.

    On thing I forgot, if you do get a wormhole going it is a bit hard to keep it open. To do this you need a lot of negative energy. Go to your local company and find what is called a "manager". They are full of it. A bit pricey though.

    I like your idea. One great thing about it is if the end product is no good, just throw it back in the outlet. That way when you put the coffee in the inlet and comes back in your face you know it is no good straight away. You can try a different roast profile at that time rather than waiting the normal degas time.

    Good luck with it. Tell us how you go. If you manage to make the jar big enough can you tell us now?

    Thanks

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    North Rothbury, NSW
    Posts
    1,104

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    applause... ;D

  5. #5
    A_M
    A_M is offline
    Guest
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    6,381

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    Quote Originally Posted by 3D3E2C2C283E265F0 link=1240666086/17#17 date=1240875868
    Good thinking Mike.

    I guess you could start by roasting some beans to CS20. They would be so black that they would absorb all electromagnetic radiation and turn into a singlarity. This could be the basis for your jar.
    I could see an issue that the gravity would be too high and in effect crush the beans too fine. This may choke up your machine.

    You could also try the Ronald Mallets method.
    Just start with two Correttos. Wire up one so it spins in a different direction and shine a really bright light in. The paddles will spins the high powered photons in a spiral. Put them through a really cold fridge. This should slow down the photons and warp space time. The nice thing about this idea about this is that change the direction in which the beans go in determine how far in the future it goes. You can also change the temp to determine this.
    But the fact that the fridge needs to be about 0 degrees Kelvin it will freeze the beans. Some people say this is no good for coffee. Others disagree.

    On thing I forgot, if you do get a wormhole going it is a bit hard to keep it open. To do this you need a lot of negative energy. Go to your local company and find what is called a "manager". They are full of it. A bit pricey though.

    I like your idea. One great thing about it is if the end product is no good, just throw it back in the outlet. That way when you put the coffee in the inlet and comes back in your face you know it is no good straight away. You can try a different roast profile at that time rather than waiting the normal degas time.

    Good luck with it. Tell us how you go. If you manage to make the jar big enough can you tell us now?

    Thanks
    Who said Snobs have No Humour or Sense of Reality ... :(

    Still giggled like a schoolgirl.... 8-)

  6. #6
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    4,096

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    Quote Originally Posted by 6566737A73797B7F7D73160 link=1240666086/15#15 date=1240839257
    What we really need is a special jar where there is an inlet and an outlet but you only see one inlet
    You might be talking about a Klein bottle?

  7. #7
    Super Moderator scoota_gal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    4,126

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    bassway...thats gold... ;D

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    703

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    HAHAHAHAHAHA ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

    After all the ROFLMA is done,
    Standing ovation deserved I think

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    1,077

    Re: Coffee at Warp 9

    Fantastic thread and damn fine ideas, Bassway and Mike for PM. Now if we could just introduce a babelfish to help in the translation of the coffee quality.

    Warning = dont read this thread while on the train, people around you will think you a a little strange. Must be my chuckling... ;D

    Mal



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •