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Thread: A humour thread

  1. #651
    Super Moderator Javaphile's Avatar
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    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    Cousin Joe and Aunty May!


    Java "Greetings!" phile
    Dimal likes this.
    Toys! I must have new toys!!!

  2. #652
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    Thought this one was too good to resist...

    How to run a Barbie

    We are about to enter the BBQ season.
    Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion.

    Routine...
    The woman buys the food.
    The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes the dessert.
    The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,
    and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
    The woman remains outside the compulsory three-meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone
    and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
    Here comes the important part:

    THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine....
    The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
    The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she
    will bring him another beer while he flips the meat.
    Important again:

    THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More routine...
    The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    After eating, the woman clears the table and washes the dishes.
    And most important of all:

    Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

    The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that
    there's just no pleasing some women.

    I think there will be a few female CSers who will recognise a lot of the above...
    Lovey, topshot, CafeLotta and 4 others like this.

  3. #653
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    Another cartoon that caught my eye.
    Recently, I finally succeeded in convincing our youngest son that he needs to keep the innards of his PC in good nick.
    During the activity, it didn't look very different to how this bloke looks in the cartoon. I believe he bought the originally configured box in ~2011 and had upgraded it a couple of times since then but never cleaned it. Goodness knows when it will get its next clean...

    extreme-cleaning.jpg

    Mal.
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  4. #654
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    Couldn't help it, found another one...

    activity-plan.jpg

    Mal.
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  5. #655
    OCD
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    Probably have to be an old truckie to find the humour in this twist.
    Seen on the back of a dunny door in a remote West Australia truck stop:

    Here I sit broken hearted,
    took my pills,
    but the truck never started.
    Dimal likes this.

  6. #656
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    And... One more.

    Mal.

    2019-08-13-reckless.jpg
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  7. #657
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dimal View Post
    And... One more.

    Mal.

    2019-08-13-reckless.jpg
    Ha, I knew it!
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  8. #658
    OCD
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    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus View Post
    Ha, I knew it!
    I often wondered, but wasn't game enough to find out.
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  9. #659
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    Friday Funny

    Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

  10. #660
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    That was number one. Here are the rest to lighten the start to your day.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Wiilly-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), gross olive-flavoured mouthwash.

    9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    12. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    13. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

    14. Frisbeetarianism (n.) The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    Dimal and OCD like this.



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