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Thread: Barista Venting

  1. #1
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    Barista Venting

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    I know we all get alot of good customers who make up for the bad ones...., but some days you just got to vent your anger. Im not talking about the usual skinny, hot, halfstregnth stuff. Im talking about the customers who really deserve to be banned from talking for life!!!

    If this thread does take off Im sure we will all get a kick out of it.



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    Re: Barista Venting

    yesterday a customer came in for a chai latte

    cust: hi, do you make real chai
    me: we have a dairy and gluten free product with no artificial ingredients that is an instant product.
    cust: no, I want a chai which is tea and spices boiled in milk
    me: sorry maam thats just not practical in here
    cust: oh, ill leave you the recipe
    me: would you like to try one, if you dont like it its on me
    cust: no, I dont drink that crap, my daughter works at gloria jeans and they use it. that causes cancer you know.
    me: (hands cust label), no this is a good product, its just tea and spices put through a mill to crush it into a fine powder.
    cust: no, i dont consume processed foods, at my age (60ish) you have to be careful. Ill just have a decaf soy cap, no choc.
    me: sure
    cust: oh, and a blueberry muffin, with extra cream, and can you bring that outside for me so that I can have a smoke with it.

  3. #3
    Wine_of_the_Bean
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Had a regular come in and tell me not to make his flat white not so milky next time; hes lactose intolerant.

  4. #4
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    Re: Barista Venting

    did s/he just figure out what the WHITE part of a flat white is.....!?!
    "lactard epiphany" !

  5. #5
    Senior Member Magic_Matt's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Pioneer Roaster link=1210652095/0#1 date=1210652433
    yesterday a customer came in for a chai latte

    cust: hi, do you make real chai
    me: we have a dairy and gluten free product with no artificial ingredients that is an instant product.
    cust: no, I want a chai which is tea and spices boiled in milk
    me: sorry maam thats just not practical in here
    cust: oh, ill leave you the recipe
    me: would you like to try one, if you dont like it its on me
    cust: no, I dont drink that crap, my daughter works at gloria jeans and they use it. that causes cancer you know.
    me: (hands cust label), no this is a good product, its just tea and spices put through a mill to crush it into a fine powder.
    cust: no, i dont consume processed foods, at my age (60ish) you have to be careful. Ill just have a decaf soy cap, no choc.
    me: sure
    cust: oh, and a blueberry muffin, with extra cream, and can you bring that outside for me so that I can have a smoke with it.
    Hahaha! That is pure gold!

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Just reading these makes my blood boil. I feel your pain fellas. Thats why I dont work full time in a coffee shop/espresso bar/cafe. Ill stick to my 4hrs a week playtime. I dont get those fussy types after 6pm on a Friday night - My way or the highway haha

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Pioneer Roaster link=1210652095/0#1 date=1210652433
    yesterday a customer came in for a chai latte

    cust: hi, do you make real chai
    me: we have a dairy and gluten free product with no artificial ingredients that is an instant product.
    cust: no, I want a chai which is tea and spices boiled in milk
    me: sorry maam thats just not practical in here
    cust: oh, ill leave you the recipe
    me: would you like to try one, if you dont like it its on me
    cust: no, I dont drink that crap, my daughter works at gloria jeans and they use it. that causes cancer you know.
    me: (hands cust label), no this is a good product, its just tea and spices put through a mill to crush it into a fine powder.
    cust: no, i dont consume processed foods, at my age (60ish) you have to be careful. Ill just have a decaf soy cap, no choc.
    me: sure
    cust: oh, and a blueberry muffin, with extra cream, and can you bring that outside for me so that I can have a smoke with it.
    Pure GOLD!!!

  8. #8
    Super Moderator scoota_gal's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Jason, that was just classic but not an unusual one!

    Weve got some regulars that do similar things like...

    "I cant have caffiene any more, my doctor said so. So...Ill have a pot of tea thanks..." ::)

    Or...

    "Um, a pie with sauce, custard tart. Oh and one of those little caramel tarts to take away. And a skim latte." ::)

    Or

    "A skim half water very hot mugacino but Ill have two donuts with it." ::)

    And Ive said it before but Ill say it again...

    TAKE YOUR BLOODY USED TISSUE WITH YOU! ;D ;D

  9. #9
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by scoota gal link=1210652095/0#7 date=1210658380
    "Um, a pie with sauce, custard tart. Oh and one of those little caramel tarts to take away. And a skim latte." ::)
    My wife orders skim as she doesnt like the taste of full cream milk. *We have skim in the fridge at home, never full cream.
    eggs and mcoccia like this.

  10. #10
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Funny as the customer said gloira jeans chai is real, part of it is and part is not... Since I have been working at gloria jeans.... yes i know i know, but im only 14 so at least its somewhere to start. Though they havnt changed my technique at all:)
    With the chai they do use acctual tea and spices with hot water. BUT they add about 200ml of chai syrup to "enhance" the taste I think. So I would really think the syrup is artificial and may cause cancer??
    Have customers strictly asking for skim milk in a caramel latte (I really hate mixing syrups and powders) but when served they get the caramel sauce and drowns the top with caramel???? Perhaps even with a piece of cake too!

  11. #11
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by p38arover link=1210652095/0#8 date=1210664493
    Quote Originally Posted by scoota gal link=1210652095/0#7 date=1210658380
    "Um, a pie with sauce, custard tart. Oh and one of those little caramel tarts to take away. And a skim latte." ::)
    My wife orders skim as she doesnt like the taste of full cream milk. We have skim in the fridge at home, never full cream.
    Yes, but your wife is more than likely a wonderful customer who explains that. I do get customers who say similar things too. Its the ones who come in and give you their life story about how they need to watch what they eat and drink. Then they justify their big splurge on pies, tarts and cake by ordering skim milk. I guess in the end, the only person theyre cheating is themselves. It makes us baristi roll our eyes though! :D ::)

  12. #12
    Senior Groupie LindaD's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    I had a customer ask for a Chai Latte. I started making it for her and then she exclaimed:

    "Oh I dont want milk with that. I like it black"

    I then explained to her that the Chai Latte is NOT a tea but in fact a powdered mixture which I showed her.

    "Oh but when I buy it in the supermarkets its in a tea form"

    I then explained to her the subtle differences between the two, then made it for her, only for her to return it to me saying it had too much milk in it. *[smiley=rolleyes.gif]

    Lady, you just earned the dunce award.

    -Linda

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Nothing like a sport stick and a chai latte made with boiled milk ;)

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Ive got to say that my customers for the past few years have been lovely, almost without exception. That said, a few years back I definitely went through a bit of a rough patch. One customer asked me for a hot chocolate and wanted it "really hot." I took it as hot as I dared, but that wasnt hot enough, so it was returned with a fair bit of attitude. I made another and basically boiled the milk, as requested. Apparently this was still not hot enough, so she asked me to microwave it. It was so hot that it boiled over in the microwave. I apologised and said that I didnt think that I could make it how she wanted, but she said that that was exactly how she wanted it, throwing in some comment about how stupid I was. So I cleaned off the cup, put it on a clean saucer and gave it to her, saying "be careful that you dont burn yourself." She laughed, rolled her eyes, took a scull, clearly burnt herself and was so embarassed that she didnt even ask for a glass of water, but instead left and never returned. An exceptionally odd exchange, to say the least.

  15. #15
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Maccas_chicka link=1210652095/0#11 date=1210676863
    I had a customer ask for a Chai Latte. I started making it for her and then she exclaimed:

    "Oh I dont want milk with that. I like it black"

    I then explained to her that the Chai Latte is NOT a tea but in fact a powdered mixture which I showed her.

    "Oh but when I buy it in the supermarkets its in a tea form"

    I then explained to her the subtle differences between the two, then made it for her, only for her to return it to me saying it had too much milk in it. *[smiley=rolleyes.gif]

    Lady, you just earned the dunce award.

    -Linda
    Needs some language education.

    Chai = tea
    Latte = milk

    How hard is that?

    A black latte? Now Ive heard everything!
    FatBoy likes this.

  16. #16
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    Re: Barista Venting

    I tell you one thing though TG, I never, ever want a Latte made with Black Milk.... Heaven knows where youd get that from :o,

    Mal.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Mal link=1210652095/15#15 date=1210689555
    I tell you one thing though TG, I never, ever want a Latte made with Black Milk.... Heaven knows where youd get that from :o,

    Mal.
    Black Angus?


    Java " ::) " phile
    Thundergod likes this.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    This is exactly what I wanted.
    I must add that 99% of my sustomers are what makes this worth doing. The ones that ask what Single origin we are serving tomorrow, or request beans that they have had before, or come in and ask for an espresso while they wait for their latte just so they have an excuse to stand at the counter and discuss coffee.
    On Tuesdays however, we start our day with 40-60 oldies (70+) from a bus tour. They always treat us like idiots and explain everything to us really slowely and loud and repeat themselves 10 times, then leave happy. A typical conversation goes like this:
    cust: 2 hot caps, extra hot
    me: sure thats $s, take a seat and ill bring it over
    cust: make sure they are hot
    me: yes I got that
    cust: oh, and in a hurry im on a bus
    me: sure
    cust: oh, and make sure they are hot
    me: sure
    cust: okay, thank you, just make sure we get them quick.

    I love tuesdays, might have to make it a roasting day!!!

  19. #19
    Wine_of_the_Bean
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    Re: Barista Venting

    You dont have to add Benefibre to the coffees do you?

    Maybe a signature drink with coffee and prune juice, call it "Emergency Exit" or something.

  20. #20
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Old cust 1: What day is it?
    Old Cust 2: Wednesday.
    Old cust 1: I thought it was Thursday.
    Old cust 2: Im thirsty too; order some caps will you?

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine_of_the_Bean link=1210652095/15#18 date=1210719723
    You dont have to add Benefibre to the coffees do you?

    Maybe a signature drink with coffee and prune juice, call it "Emergency Exit" or something.
    [smiley=grin.gif] [smiley=tekst-toppie.gif]

  22. #22
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine_of_the_Bean link=1210652095/15#18 date=1210719723
    Maybe a signature drink with coffee and prune juice, call it "Emergency Exit" or something.
    Description of coffee...

    "You have given me the sh1ts often enough - now its MY turn!!!!!" ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D

  23. #23
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    Re: Barista Venting

    I grit my teeth when I see customers adding sugar ... before tasting the coffee to determine whether it actually needs it.

    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr [smiley=evil.gif]

  24. #24
    Wine_of_the_Bean
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    Re: Barista Venting

    I love the ones who ask for 3 sugars. Theres usually more sugar than coffee in the cup.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Wine_of_the_Bean link=1210652095/15#23 date=1210744247
    I love the ones who ask for 3 sugars. *Theres usually more sugar than coffee in the cup.
    Only 3?? My record order so far is 7....No joke :o ::)

    Chris

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Mal link=1210652095/15#15 date=1210689555
    I tell you one thing though TG, I never, ever want a Latte made with Black Milk.... Heaven knows where youd get that from :o,

    Mal.
    Dark chocolate??

    Greg

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by 2muchcoffeeman link=1210652095/15#24 date=1210744304
    Quote Originally Posted by Wine_of_the_Bean link=1210652095/15#23 date=1210744247
    I love the ones who ask for 3 sugars. *Theres usually more sugar than coffee in the cup.
    Only 3?? My record order so far is 7....No joke *:o ::)

    Chris
    Yep, I had a big Samoan guy ask for 7 in his 8oz flat white once ... he was twice the size of me, so I obliged rather than scoffing ::)

  28. #28
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    If he was only twice your size hes probably rated as a small Samoan.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    I tend not to have a problem with things such as people adding sugar before tasting or throwing in half a dozen sugars... afterall, Im the type of guy who drowns anything resembling food with some kind of chilli - its a matter of taste, if you happen to like things particularly sweet, fine by me.

    My beef - "May I have a skim Macchiato?"

    Oh... and "Cappuccino, no choc thanks"



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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Indraunt link=1210652095/15#28 date=1210754560
    "

    Oh... and "Cappuccino, no choc thanks"
    Whats wrong with that? I never have choc on mine. If I dont want it how is the barista to know?

  31. #31
    Senior Member Sketchy's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Macchiato link=1210652095/15#29 date=1210758655
    Quote Originally Posted by Indraunt link=1210652095/15#28 date=1210754560
    "

    Oh... and "Cappuccino, no choc thanks"
    Whats wrong with that? I never have choc on mine. If I dont want it how is the barista to know?
    When driving i normally have a cap with no choc, if they can"t mix the crema through the cap then there not making it right. choc only covers bad milk.

    What i hate at work (and we get it alot) is when someone demands there coffee come straight away then dosnt drink it till after they finish there meal, then come up and say its cold and expects you to make them another, free.

    LE

  32. #32
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Macchiato link=1210652095/15#29 date=1210758655
    Quote Originally Posted by Indraunt link=1210652095/15#28 date=1210754560
    "

    Oh... and "Cappuccino, no choc thanks"
    Whats wrong with that? I never have choc on mine. If I dont want it how is the barista to know?
    That would make it a...flat white! ;D
    Brewster likes this.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Nah,

    I like more foam than that. That extra 5mm makes all the difference 8-)

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1210652095/15#27 date=1210749846
    If he was only twice your size hes probably rated as a small Samoan.
    ... assuming youve seen my size TG :D

  35. #35
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    A small Samoan makes even me look small.

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Loving this thread - keep em coming. :)

    Esp. the "Emergency Exit" line, and the smoker who was worried about chai cancer. :D


    Cheers......................Sean

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Thundergod link=1210652095/30#34 date=1210766784
    A small Samoan makes even me look small.
    I havent seen your size TG, so wont comment ... but just did, I sposse :D

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by scooter link=1210652095/30#35 date=1210767211
    Esp. the "Emergency Exit" line, and the smoker who was worried about chai cancer.
    chai cancer .. haha.. that is too funny...

    and yeh.. i get my capp without choc. no prob with that.

  39. #39
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    Re: Barista Venting

    I guess the cappuccino thing largely depends on the cafe - where I am a have-in cap is largely the same as a flat-white, the only real difference being the choc... A take-away cap without choc is pretty much the same as a latte.

  40. #40
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    Re: Barista Venting

    a capp is all about the thirds, one third coffee, one third milk, one third foam.. a flat white is less foamy, though not sure on exact ratio. also, isnt the entire cup volume different?

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by Indraunt link=1210652095/30#38 date=1210840672
    I guess the cappuccino thing largely depends on the cafe - where I am a have-in cap is largely the same as a flat-white, the only real difference being the choc... A take-away cap without choc is pretty much the same as a latte.

    capp - 1/3 coffee 1/3 milk 1/3 froth technically. or there abouts, either way should have about 3cm or so of froth on top

    flat white - same glass a a capp but with 30mls espresso filled to the top with milk, perhaps a small aount of froth, (a a few milimeters only)

    latte - in a diferent glass, normally 220mls wit a centimeter (thereabouts) of froth.

    All very different, quantities and different strengths etc. if all in the same take away cup then the cap will be the strogest, ie least milk, the the latte followed by the F/W...

  42. #42
    Super Moderator scoota_gal's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Yes, we all get that but this is a thread about "Barista Venting"...;D

    Actually, when I first saw that I thought that Jason must have been talking about some new device that we baristi could use in the business! ;D :D

    My gripe for today...

    Just because you look at me...doesnt mean Im going to drop everything and serve you!! :P

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Quote Originally Posted by luke_gts link=1210652095/30#40 date=1210846133
    capp - 1/3 coffee 1/3 milk 1/3 froth technically. or there abouts, either way should have about 3cm or so of froth on top

    flat white - same glass a a capp but with 30mls espresso filled to the top with milk, perhaps a small aount of froth, (a a few milimeters only)

    latte - in a diferent glass, normally 220mls wit a centimeter (thereabouts) of froth.

    All very different, quantities and different strengths etc. if all in the same take away cup then the cap will be the strogest, ie least milk, the the latte followed by the F/W...
    Largely a matter of opinion as far as Im concerned. The traditional puffy-white-style-capp is an increasingly rare sight in cafes, the latte I agree with you, and the flat-white is very much open to debate - For example, Starbucks puts water in their flat-whites, and some people believe there should be no foam whatsoever on top.

    I suppose in a technical sense, or more traditionally really, your definition of a capp is correct, but as far as I am concerned -things change.

    At risk of this and other posts in this little argument getting canned for being off topic - You know what drives me mad? A set of standards no one can agree to.

  44. #44
    Senior Member Sketchy's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Skinny Vanilla latte extra syrup but no sugar because they dont like it sweet. ::)

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    Re: Barista Venting

    Two highlights this week..

    First customer looks earnestly at the Diedrich and asks, "Is what you use to grind the beans with?" Scary thing is that Ive been asked that before.

    Second one, from a neighbouring warehouse, buys a takeaway and asks, "Do you also sell instant?"

    Customers...God love em! :)

  46. #46
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    Re: Barista Venting

    well i guess if you make it quick enough, thats pretty instant....

  47. #47
    Sleep is overrated Thundergod's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    First ones funny, second one sends shivers up my spine.

  48. #48
    Senior Member GregJW's Avatar
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    Re: Barista Venting

    First one gives a good opportunity to talk about Dudleys role in the process - a good discussion starter.

    The second one............................

    I still havent thought of an appropriate response :-/.

  49. #49
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    Re: Barista Venting


    Second one, from a neighbouring warehouse, buys a takeaway and asks, "Do you also sell instant?"
    "Yes I do but being a 100% natural product it can be a little gritty in the cup, you would be better-off using it in a plunger."

    :)

  50. #50
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    Re: Barista Venting

    Yeah.
    "We have a revolutionary do it yourself product. Theyre called beans. All you need is a grinder and a brewing method and Bingo! Instant coffee."



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