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Thread: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

  1. #1
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    HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    Given the ammount of CS interest in all things thermodynamic, I thought Id share the following:

    Hell....exothermic or endothermic???

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats). One student wrote the following answer:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyles Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that: "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
    The student received the only "A" given.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lizzie's Avatar
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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!
    Thanks for that, Reubster; its one for the wall of smiles!!

    L

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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    An urban legend but amusing nonetheless.

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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    Applying terrestrial laws of physics to a diabolical extraterrestrial place may not necesserily work.

    For one thing, it is amorphic souls which enter hell, not physical bodies composed of known elements such as carbon.

    Perhaps some of our more spiritual snobs would care to expand.

    --Robusto

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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    giggled like a schoolgirl - havent seen this one in years - it pre-dates the internet too, I had a copy of this when I was in teachers college studying to be a science teacher.

    Robusto has a point though - the application of rational physical laws may be of limited use in a spiritual dimension as the basic premise for this would be the assumption that one has influence in the other (and a larger underlying assumption is that both spiritual and temporal realities exist at all).

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    Super Moderator Javaphile's Avatar
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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    Yup, Hell must be exothermic as the following story illustrates:

    Two guys from International Falls die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around the fire.

    The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isnt it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Vell, ya know, vere from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. Vere just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know."

    The devil decides that these two arent miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens.

    The devil asks them again," Its awfully hot down here, cant you guys feel that?"

    Again the two guys reply, "Vell, like ve told you yesterday, vere from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. Vere just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know."

    This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming every where. He stops by the room with the two guys from Minnesota and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer.

    The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery,and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Minnesotans reply, "Vell, ya know, ve dont get too much warm weather up dere in International Falls, weve just got to have a fish fry when the weather is this nice."

    The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

    The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Minnesotans.

    He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

    The devil is dumb founded, "I dont understand, when I turn up the heat youre happy. Now its freezing cold and youre still happy. What is wrong with you two?"

    The Minnesotans look at the devil in surprise. "Vell, dont ya know, if hell froze over dat must mean da Vikings won da Super Bowl."
    So despite having made it to the Super Bowl more often than any other team (5 times) they have yet to win. Ergo, Hell is exothermic!


    Java "Isnt holding his breath" phile

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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    Metaphysics may apply.

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    Senior Member Lizzie's Avatar
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    Re: HELL...Endothermic or Exothermic???????

    and that is a great one too, Javaphile...
    for me, irrespective of age, origin and status of being "thumbed over"... this sort of harmless fun is just that: fun!!
    thanks!

    L



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