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Thread: Evils of hipster cafe's.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Evils of hipster cafe's.

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    A lot of truth in what Bernard Salt has to say here,


    Moralisers, we need you!

    I belong to a secret society and I am looking for new recruits

    The Weekend Australian Magazine, October 15-16, 2016
    Society: Bernard Salt


    If you are under 40 and starting to read this, I politely suggest that you turn the page. There isn't anything here that will interest you. Just me rabbiting on about the old days. Bit of a yawn-fest, really ... Have they gone? Is it just you and me now? Shhh ... act natural and read this column without making a sound. Do not look up; do not make eye contact with anyone. Come close to the page. Closer!


    I belong to a secret society and I am looking for new recruits. It's a sect known as the Middle-Aged Moralisers. We in the MAM meet monthly in our members' homes in the suburbs, where we discuss ... hush ... the youth of today. Why the need for secrecy? Well, if it ever got out that middle-aged people talk about young people, all hell would break loose.
    We on the MAM membership committee have been watching you. We've seen the pursed lips, the tut-tutting, the head-shaking. We have seen the sighing, the face-palming, the eye-rolling. We think you are one of us. We know it, you know it. Come to our next meeting. You'll find it liberating to know there are others just like you.
    This week we're discussing the evils of hipster cafes. Do you know why hipster cafes have milk crates for seating? To keep baby boomers at bay. They know they can't officially ban us, so what do they do? They rig the seating so that tight baby-boomer hamstrings recoil at the prospect of positioning the buttocks below the latitude of the knees. Sitting is fine. Getting up is problematic. And doesn't the sub-40 set know it. They don't want we over-50s despoiling the authentic grooviness of their cafes. (Is groovy still a word?)
    Do you know what else hipster cafes do? With malicious aforethought, hipster proprietors deliberately design their menus with the tiniest of writing and print these same menus using a light-coloured ink on light-coloured paper. That is pure evil writ large. And then these same hipster proprietors play thumping, pumping music that reverberates off polished concrete floors so as to eliminate all hope of audible conversation. The meandering middle-aged who have naively wandered into hipster cafes are thereby reduced to pathetically lip-reading conversations, hoping to catch the odd word so as to guess the meaning of entire sentences.
    Don't get me started on the befuddlement caused by toilets with obscure signage. Is that an M or is that a W? Is that a top hat or is that a ladies' bonnet? This is a hipster cafe: they wouldn't have a top hat on the door to the men's loo. Unless, of course, they're being ironic. Maybe it is the men's. Why can't we have some light back here? Why can't we have a sign saying men and women?
    But all of this is mere ephemera. It gets worse. I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more. I can afford to eat this for lunch because I am middle-aged and have raised my family. But how can young people afford to eat like this? Shouldn't they be economising by eating at home? How often are they eating out? Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house.
    There. I've said it. I have said what every secret middle-aged moraliser has thought but has never had the courage to verbalise. Should you disclose the contents of this conversation, I will disavow all knowledge of you and of the existence of this secret society. In fact, this conversation never took place. Goodbye.
    saltb@theaustralian.com.au"



    Love this,

    "I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more. I can afford to eat this for lunch because I am middle-aged and have raised my family. But how can young people afford to eat like this? Shouldn't they be economising by eating at home? How often are they eating out? Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house. "
    a point I've been making for years.

    Cant afford a house but can afford two or three Cappa's a day at $5 a pop.
    Last edited by Yelta; 16th October 2016 at 08:04 PM.
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    Sorry, can't afford the digital subscription to read the article you linked too. I spent it all on lattès...

  3. #3
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timmyjj21 View Post
    Sorry, can't afford the digital subscription to read the article you linked too. I spent it all on lattès...
    Yep just sorted that Timmy, have copied and pasted the complete article.

  4. #4
    Senior Member readeral's Avatar
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    I can't afford my internet connection, nor my smart phone on which to read the article. Please sort that for me too Yelta!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by readeral View Post
    I can't afford my internet connection, nor my smart phone on which to read the article. Please sort that for me too Yelta!
    Sorry Al, the age of miracles is well and truly past.
    Dimal likes this.

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    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
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    Print and post Yelta

  7. #7
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trentski View Post
    Print and post Yelta
    Afternoon Trentski.

    "Print and post" am I missing something?

  8. #8
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    The only thing I've found evil at hipster cafes, in Melbourne, is their use of those plastic bags to make poached eggs. Seeing poached eggs as small white smooth balls just doesn't do it for me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member readeral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Sorry Al, the age of miracles is well and truly past.
    Alas. I'll have to get a better job then.

  10. #10
    Senior Member readeral's Avatar
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    While we're on the topic of $22 toast (seriously? shame on that hipster cafe) this arrived in my Facebook newsfeed today.

    survey.jpg
    Dimal and Magic_Matt like this.

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    The guy who wrote that article just might've been a Boy George fan back in the 80's. He just might've spent a small fortune on hair, makeup and concert tickets.

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    Well I'm clearly not buying enough beer by those statistics.

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    Magic_Matt and matth3wh like this.

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    Senior Member LeroyC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by readeral View Post
    While we're on the topic of $22 toast (seriously? shame on that hipster cafe) this arrived in my Facebook newsfeed today.

    survey.jpg
    So not much had changed really.

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    I read that article last weekend in the Australian. Thought it was funny, but on reflection, I reckon we should be grateful for hipster cafes. They're trying something new, trying to shake up the dreaded 'coffee lounge' wastelands of the 80s. They may fail, they may thrive, but they cater for a market and when I get to the big smoke every now and then I go to one, have a reasonable coffee and just observe where the breaking wave of cafe life is heading

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  17. #17
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    You're right - that is brilliant. I especially like the last post in that article - "live in Hobart and you can own your home AND have smashed avo for breakfast".

  18. #18
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Apparently it isn't the smashed avocado that is the problem: it's the coffee

    http://www.smh.com.au/victoria/dont-blame-the-smashed-avocado-its-the-coffee-20161019-gs5kdc.html

    Young house hunters of Australia, continue munching on $22 smashed avocado on sourdough. The real problem keeping you out of the property market may be the "exorbitant" price of coffee, Australia's most senior treasury official has suggested.
    Under a grilling in a Senate estimates hearing Treasury secretary John Fraser said Melbourne had the most expensive coffee prices in the world.



  19. #19
    Senior Member LeroyC's Avatar
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    Evils of hipster cafe's.

    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus View Post
    Apparently it isn't the smashed avocado that is the problem: it's the coffee

    http://www.smh.com.au/victoria/dont-blame-the-smashed-avocado-its-the-coffee-20161019-gs5kdc.html

    Young house hunters of Australia, continue munching on $22 smashed avocado on sourdough. The real problem keeping you out of the property market may be the "exorbitant" price of coffee, Australia's most senior treasury official has suggested.
    Under a grilling in a Senate estimates hearing Treasury secretary John Fraser said Melbourne had the most expensive coffee prices in the world.


    Bulls@%t. Lots of places in the world where coffee is more expensive than Melbourne. The whole of New Zealand for starters.
    But if rich, white Australians are happy to continue to sponsor poverty in most of the third world countries that produce coffee then I'm sure we can squeeze the price down a little bit lower. And once China's dairy industry is fully developed and is over catering for domestic demand we can buy their excess milk and get even cheaper lar-tays!!!!
    Last edited by LeroyC; 19th October 2016 at 01:13 PM.
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  20. #20
    Senior Member readeral's Avatar
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    Goodness. Australians have the best wages for cafe staff in the world too I'm sure. That is, at or above minimum wage... and the ones making the coffee sure aren't buying their own inner city residences I promise. I'm perfectly happy with the cost of coffee in Aus.
    Magic_Matt, gonzo89 and LeroyC like this.

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    "I understand the issue," he assured the senators. "I'd prefer people to start talking about the exorbitant cost of coffee in Melbourne. It's got to be the highest in world."

    Is this satire? It's clearly not the cost of coffee or toast keeping entire generations out of the housing market. IT'S THE COST OF HOUSING.
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flynnaus View Post
    Apparently it isn't the smashed avocado that is the problem: it's the coffee

    http://www.smh.com.au/victoria/dont-blame-the-smashed-avocado-its-the-coffee-20161019-gs5kdc.html

    Under a grilling in a Senate estimates hearing Treasury secretary John Fraser said Melbourne had the most expensive coffee prices in the world.


    This chap obviously doesn't venture far outside Parliament house when in Canberra either.....and as LeroyC has correctly pointed out, basically the whole of NZ would challenge Melbourne price-wise. I do look forward to refusing to pay more than a Melbourne price when I head to London next month. I may get arrested, but I'll be on solid legal ground I believe.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Magic_Matt's Avatar
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    Surely you don't expect any empathy or even self awareness from the boomer pollies and bureaucrats who caused the housing affordability crisis in the first place. They already have their comfortable homes and negatively-geared investment properties; it's all a big ol' laugh to them. There, I said it... 🙄


    Quote Originally Posted by scotchparty1 View Post
    "I understand the issue," he assured the senators. "I'd prefer people to start talking about the exorbitant cost of coffee in Melbourne. It's got to be the highest in world."

    Is this satire? It's clearly not the cost of coffee or toast keeping entire generations out of the housing market. IT'S THE COST OF HOUSING.
    noonar, LeroyC and scotchparty1 like this.

  24. #24
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    I think this puts it all to rest
    smashedavocad0.jpg

  25. #25
    Senior Member noonar's Avatar
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    Melbourne coffee prices cheaper than Perth, Hobart despite Treasury boss's complaints - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

    Quote:
    "According to the Coffee Economist's Cappuccino Price Index, a 235-millilitre takeaway coffee costs $3.63 in Melbourne — compared with $3.86 in Perth and $3.73 in Hobart."

    Perth top of the price ladder! Yippeee!
    Magic_Matt likes this.

  26. #26
    Senior Member trentski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yelta View Post
    Afternoon Trentski.

    "Print and post" am I missing something?
    Print it out. Put in envelope addressed to readeral. Put $4 worth of stamps on it and post it to him
    Yelta likes this.

  27. #27
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    In all honesty, I really enjoy going to places where the dreaded "hipsters" hang out.
    I enjoy seeing the young guys sporting the neat clothes and short neat haircuts with the bushy beard and spectacles, and the young women with the unusual hair colours and oversize rectangular black frame spectacles. What is it about the specs?
    Maybe it is just being old because I also like to see the young "retro-hippies" as well (mainly seen in tropical North QLD and Northern NSW beach towns.)
    I guess it is more fun when you are too old to need to compete with anyone.



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