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Thread: Movie Myths

  1. #1
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Movie Myths

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    There's always a pile of cardboard boxes stacked on a street corner for a speeding car to smash into during a chase.
    Even the most demented terrorist always builds bombs with correct colour coded wires.
    When the hero martial arts character, like Jason Stratham, Jackie Chan, take on a dozen thugs, the thugs must ALWAYS come at his one at a time. Never two, three, six or twelve at once to overwhelm.
    When the crim runs out of bullets, he must throw the empty gun at the hero. Yeah, that'll stop him.
    The big bad guy can beat the life out of the hero, but the hero then rises up and with a couple of punches downs the huge baddie out cold.
    The heroine at first resists the hero trying to kiss her, punching his chest and all...then succumbs and passionately kisses back.
    The hero is just about dead in hospital, but easily manages to discharge himself to continue the pursuit of the villain.
    In westerns, matches are soooo good you can strike them on the unshaven face of a villain
    Anyone can walk into a hospital ward to kill off the witness
    Even in ancient Rome, or the middle ages, heroines wore makeup and were spotless in their grooming
    Character's hairstyles change NOT with the period in which the film is set, but with the times when the film is made.
    When a news item comes on the TV involving the incident, always switch off the TV before the item is finished
    A woman character can go from Cinderella to stunner just by ditching her glasses
    Scientists explain to the hero how something is supposed to work--not for his benefit, but us dumb viewers
    After sex, the woman must cover her breasts with bedsheets. Gee, you never want the man who's just had sex with you to see you naked, would you.
    Hours of CCTV is showing, but the smart cop walks in, glances at the screen at the precise relevant moment. "Hold it there". "Zoom in to the driver." It's grainy, but after the click of a mouse it's 4k resolution.
    The computer expert has to be a spindly four-eyed dweeb nerd. He can't be smart AND have a physique.
    In comedies, the sidekick has to be dumb. Can't have the hero's best friend being a rival, can we.
    In comedies, the tv or radio station manager has to be dumb.
    In older films, middle eastern or African migrants are extremely polite and speak precise English. Nowdays they are uncouth terrorists.
    The black woman in authority has attitude.
    Dinner food is just a prop. After the tenth take is's cold and yuk. The actors at the table are seen stirring it with their fork, going to take a bite but are distracted and keep talking. They rarely take a bite.
    At a dinner table, the place facing out screen is always empty. Always.
    Friends coincidently drop into the diner/cafe at exactly the same time.
    Every Australian soap has to have life revolving around the cafe, police station and pub.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member noonar's Avatar
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    Sharknado and Deadpool series excepted of course. :-)

  3. #3
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    In battles, the hero is facing a hail of bullets but is never mortally wounded while all of his bullets find their target.
    When the villain has captured the hero, rather than kill him straight away, he has run out of bullets, delays the kill long enough to allow the hero to escape or employs some unnecessarily complex method to kill the hero from which the hero escapes just in the nick of time
    In cop movies, the lieutenant is nearly always black and pissed off with the cop.
    The cop is always under investigation by internal affairs, usually leading to suspension

    Oh, and everyone in Metropolis is fooled by Superman's disguise as Clark Kent.
    Last edited by flynnaus; 4 Weeks Ago at 05:13 PM.
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    During the course of every police investigation it is necessary to visit a strip club.

    Women will investigate strange noises outside in their most revealing underwear.

    Detectives usually solve cases only when they are suspended from duty.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    In police shows like Midsomer Murders, the victim's spouse never spends the next week grieving. Just being normal and answering police questions
    After committing several more murders to avoid capture and therefore spend life behind bars, the confronted crim finally boasts to the cop how he/she did it. Huh?
    The judge always has to threaten "Any further outbursts and I will clear the court"
    In westerns, anyone who is shot has to clutch their hands to their heart and fall over slowly
    Crashing through glass windows is completely safe
    The head villain can shoot dead a rebellious henchman over a triviality but the other henchmen don't protest one bit
    Every underground carpark is a speedway for car pursuits
    When downloading secret files onto a USB stick, the computer screen must show a countdown of data and time
    Knowing a person's birthday and favourite colour will get you into any password protected computer
    The dumb school bully is a star football player
    Films have to take place in the dark to show how brilliantly creatve the director is ---and to make me switch channel pronto

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    When Americans escape from a ww2 nazi pow camp, they can pass themselves off as German officers by speaking English with a German accent.

  7. #7
    Senior Member flynnaus's Avatar
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    Anyone who is trying to hack into a secure database is prompted to "Enter Secret Password"

    When a detective shows up at a crime scene, he never parks the car properly.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
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    Stuff that doesn't happen in the movies:
    Nobody ever walks into a room and says 'Sh&$, I can't remember what I came in here for' and walks out.
    Nobody ever catches their jumper sleeve on a door handle and really loses their breakfast over it.
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  9. #9
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barry O'Speedwagon View Post
    Nobody ever walks into a room and says 'Sh&$, I can't remember what I came in here for' and walks out.
    Nobody ever catches their jumper sleeve on a door handle and really loses their breakfast over it.
    Haha...

    The story of my life, or variations thereof.

    Mal.

  10. #10
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    When someone behind is strangling you, don't fight back...don't elbow him in the stomach, nor kick him in the shins--just pasively die instead.

    When stealing jewellery, always rip a necklace off to make wearing it impossible.

    In bathrooms, you must have a shower curtain not safety glass so that someone can hide behind it.

    Bank vaults must be built over a sewer to facilitate robbery.

    Having a newspaper to cover your arm (while pointing a gun at the next person about to be shot) on your desk never appears odd and suspicious to the victim

    When giving press a conference keep walking while talking.

    Treat the journalists with contempt for asking pointed questions.

    Machine guns can fire for minutes on end and never need reloading.
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  11. #11
    OCD
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    Quote Originally Posted by robusto View Post
    ...The head villain can shoot dead a rebellious henchman over a triviality but the other henchmen don't protest one bit...
    Would you?

  12. #12
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Haha...I would be questioning whether the villain is a good employer!!!!

  13. #13
    Senior Member topshot's Avatar
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    Every firearm they use is recoilless, regardless of the calibre or type!
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  14. #14
    Senior Member CoffeeHack's Avatar
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    When typing on a computer there is a beep for every keystroke.

  15. #15
    Mal Dimal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by topshot View Post
    Every firearm they use is recoilless, regardless of the calibre or type!
    And, you must shut your eyes just as you pull the trigger...

    Mal.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    Having trained Traditional Karate for 20 years, I have observed:
    After fighting for about 3 minutes, both parties are almost too exhausted to throw a punch.
    A few well-connected punches are all it takes to disable an opponent. The first person to achieve that generally wins.
    You can break fingers/knuckles punching people in the head.
    Most street-fights (i.e. barroom brawls) end up in a wrestling match after the first half dozen punches. (i.e. you need to be able to wrestle TOO)
    Most wrestling matches are won by the biggest/strongest participant.
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  17. #17
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    And most folks will stop fighting when they have a chair busted over there head .....

    Cheers

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SanderP View Post
    And most folks will stop fighting when they have a chair busted over there head .....

    Cheers
    Not if it's a polystyrene movie prop chair.

    Ps treating everyone you meet as if they're unstable and have a 357 magnum secreted on their person is your best defense.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Lovey's Avatar
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    Any vehicle that leaves the roadway and heads over the nearest cliff, will immediately explode on contact with the ground.
    Further to the point raised about WWII movies. None of the Germans ever actually spoke German, only English with a German accent.
    Whilst running, holding a takeaway coffee cup, none of the beverage will spill out of the hole in the lid, no matter how fast you run. I just have to bump my takeaway cup and hot coffee comes out like a fountain.
    Whilst the good guy is walking away from a situation in disguise, they will always turn around and take off said disguise, just in case the audience weren't sure who it really is. None of the baddies can see this of course.



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