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Thread: How to be a bogan

  1. #1
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    How to be a bogan

    Gene Cafe Coffee Roaster $850 - Free Beans Free Freight
    (Geez, 'ope I'm not talkin' from 'speerience 'ere. Yeah...nah.)

    Drop those pesky gs. Always be goin' somewhere, or doin' somethin'

    The names of everyone you know have to end in "sy": Bracksy, Maxy or "o": Jacko, Peto, Dicko,

    You live in Straya

    You never go to the football ---you go to the footy.

    Meat pies and sausage rolls take pride of place in your cuisine.

    Never say dollars when everyone knows they are bucks.

    You're not a slave to fashion, so you safely stay a couple of decades behind.

    Your pride and joy is the lowered ute

    If you can't afford that ute, make sure your 30-year-old car has one door of a different colour

    No point in having hidden tattoos, so both sides of the neck make the perfect canvas

    Getting drunk is your birthright, so proudly boast about it

    Begin your conversation with “yeah, nah”

    When carrying a slab from the bottle shop, perch it on your shoulder.

    Make sure it's Victoria bitter, Melbourne bitter or xxxx in Queensland

    You don't offer mates a beer -- you offer them a coldie

    You've been light years ahead of the media in dropping the C-bomb

    Next to the pub, your most frequented venue is Centrelink

    You've never heard of Noosa but know the Rosebud tea trees like a second home
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  2. #2
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    Aaaggh ...Ooohh Mate that's such a fail. Hey
    U didnt finish your aagh umm like ...what you said...
    with an HEey !
    .
    .
    . Hey !
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  3. #3
    338
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    Quote Originally Posted by robusto View Post
    Begin your conversation with “yeah, nah”
    Robusto, clearly you don't live in NSW, Yeah, Nah is how our NSW government communicates with us - https://mumbrella.com.au/nsw-governm...ampaign-522644


    How the fxxx am I meant to teach my grandkids to talk and spell correctly when the government stick up huge posters with Yeah, Nah on them?
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  4. #4
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EspressoAdventurer View Post
    Aaaggh ...Ooohh Mate that's such a fail. Hey
    U didnt finish your aagh umm like ...what you said...
    with an HEey !
    .
    .
    . Hey !
    ....I was like, Geez mate, ya wanna have a barney wif me or wot? Givvita rest. Juz doin' me job, eh.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Boganism is being legitimised? Hell. Next they'll be standing for parliament. Oh...wait..too late!
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    you forgot Shazza
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  7. #7
    OCD
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    Invidious discrimination. They're no different than anyone else from Papua New Guinea. For shame.

  8. #8
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Just for you...
    Attached Images Attached Images
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  9. #9
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    Forgot the classic, says "expresso"
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
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    You recycle your coffee snobs bags by filling them with marbles and goin' out huntin'
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  11. #11
    OCD
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    They're so desirable, as neighbours, that the Department of Human Services won't disclose where they live. I can only suppose it's to prevent property speculators from unfairly profiteering on the sudden rise in property values. But, being the good citizens that they are, they do leave clues for those in the know.

    Ps the people who make the rules miss out (on having such desirable neighbours) because they typically live in the more affluent suburbs. Almost as if they planned it that way.
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  12. #12
    OCD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barry O'Speedwagon View Post
    You recycle your coffee snobs bags by filling them with marbles and goin' out huntin'
    Fair enough. They seem to think everyone else is fair game. Including their own, judging by their constant bickering.

    Ps first hand experience unfortunately. When I purchased my house I naively checked things like stumps, termites and other relative trivialities, when I should have been checking out who the hell my neighbours were going to be.

    Ps 2 does make life interesting though - but not in a good way.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    I'm not a big fan of Bogans but the facts of life are that no matter how much your pay for your house you can end up with one next door.
    In the final analysis however, my experience is that when you need a helping hand, a Bogan is the one that is most likely to provide it, rather than your snobby professional next door.
    Your snobby professional likely has a Bogan wife or parents and wants to distance themselves from them.
    By the time you get to my age you have seen it all and tend to accept people for who they are (their actions) rather than the superficial 5h1t that so many manifest.
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  14. #14
    Senior Member Jackster's Avatar
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    Who is Shazza? .....oh Shaggs!

    It was different here in WA. Bogan was never a derogatory term, the way it was in sydney. It was a black Levi 501, desert boot 'ripper sole', 80s glam metal fan. Mullet was preferred.
    The title has broadened over last 20yrs, and become more of a insult.

    Excuse me while I chuck on a bit of old Ozzy
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  15. #15
    OCD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky View Post
    I'm not a big fan of Bogans but the facts of life are that no matter how much your pay for your house you can end up with one next door.
    In the final analysis however, my experience is that when you need a helping hand, a Bogan is the one that is most likely to provide it, rather than your snobby professional next door.
    Your snobby professional likely has a Bogan wife or parents and wants to distance themselves from them.
    By the time you get to my age you have seen it all and tend to accept people for who they are (their actions) rather than the superficial 5h1t that so many manifest.
    The epithet "bogan" is perhaps a little broad and misleading. Apologies.
    I was referring to the, in your face, antisocial element that usually, but not always, avail themselves of public housing and handouts. Any right you may think you have to private property, quality of life or safety means nothing to them.
    The loud music, fighting, barking, revving, at all hours. The intimidation, drug dealing, feral kids, you name it, it's all their God given right and the neighbours and cops be damned.

    Ps I'll take your "snobby professionals" over that, anytime.

    Ps 2 Rocky, I'm envious of you. You obviously haven't had the pleasure.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Yelta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackster View Post
    Mullet was preferred.
    Believe it or not, the "mullet" is coming back into fashion in Oz.

    If you've been around long enough things start to repeat.

    "Caleb Overdijk, 19, explained the mullet brought people together and transcended class or social standing." Do ya reckon?"

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-05-29/hairdressers-say-mullet-is-making-a-comeback/11123132



  17. #17
    Senior Member Barry O'Speedwagon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCD View Post
    The epithet "bogan" is perhaps a little broad and misleading. Apologies.
    I was referring to the, in your face, antisocial element that usually, but not always, avail themselves of public housing and handouts. Any right you may think you have to private property, quality of life or safety means nothing to them.
    The loud music, fighting, barking, revving, at all hours. The intimidation, drug dealing, feral kids, you name it, it's all their God given right and the neighbours and cops be damned.

    Ps I'll take your "snobby professionals" over that, anytime.

    Ps 2 Rocky, I'm envious of you. You obviously haven't had the pleasure.

    I think 'bogan' is far more a state of mind than an address or a dress code. I spend half my weekends in tracky dacks and ugg boots.
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  18. #18
    Senior Member Rocky's Avatar
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    When I re-read my comment I thought it sounded a bit "virtue signalling" and I like that a lot less than I like Bogans.
    I agree with OCD that there are two types and the ones he refers to are the "Feral Bogans" and you really don't want to be anywhere around them.

    One of my 'favourites' is the Wheelie Bin - chocked so full the lid doesn't come within a foot of a close, and the excess spilled on the footpath and the road.
    You walk past the next morning and the bin is gone but all the 5h1t is still on the footpath and the road. It will be there until it blows away.
    It must be a type of selective blindness.

  19. #19
    Senior Member robusto's Avatar
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    Rocky, like you I have been mulling over the same thing. In my original post I may have confused bogan with feral. Though they may share some traits, a bogan may be tolerable, but a feral cannot be.

    So, if I have insulted bogans by attributing to them feral attributes, I apologise.
    Dimal likes this.



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